You Don’t Fit In—Because You’re Not Supposed To with Guest Tim Croll

Welcome to the show.

Tired of the hype about living a dream.

It's time for truth.

This is the place for tools, power and real talk.

So you can create the life you dream and deserve your ultimate life.

Subscribe, share, create.

You have infinite power.

Welcome to your ultimate life.

And I love the fact that Tim is laughing right to start with this whole time.

We don't need any more prep.

Let's just jump in.

Let's go.

Well, it's the truth because what we were talking about right before I hit record is really simple.

I am committed with every breath that I take to help people live the most joyful and powerful life they can.

So are you.

Is that true?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

We, and we literally said this.

It's.

We have same purposes, but different execution.

And I love, love that because there's so much.

When we talk about diversity, and we'll probably just jump into this, but we'll talk about when you talk about diversity.

We need diversity in our lives.

We need different people, different personalities, and we execute all differently.

And that's such a misunderstood treasure and value that, that our world has kind of taken in a different direction.

But it's, it's definitely something that we need.

You know, one of the things I say to people, one of the things I love do is help people write books and tell their stories and stuff.

Right.

And people I hear over and over again.

Yeah, but what I'm teaching or what I have share in my book, it's already been said a million times.

And I say, you know what?

It has.

And we need another million.

And we need another million because of what you said right before we started, which is people hear different things, right?

They hear, they need different people.

So what were you saying about that?

About the diversity of voices and examples?

Yeah.

So let's, let's look at.

There's two things on that thing.

The first one is, as far as I can tell, the oldest book that I know of is out of Job.

It's from Scripture, from Bible.

That's the oldest book that I know of.

I mean, it dates back a couple thousand years.

Prior to that, I think the, the next oldest one would be the Pentateuch from the Old Testament.

I think that's the old.

Anyway, the point in this is the fact that if we start to look at all of the stories that have ever been told, we have historically about 6,000 years of information.

You're not going to add any new, like, aha, like this is brand new, like you're not going to come up with something that's genuinely brand new.

It's not going to happen.

Maybe in the world of tech, maybe in that area you might come up with, but at the same time, there's still some kind of a principle behind it.

What is key is the way that we tell that story.

What is key is the diversity in how we hear things.

So there's different perspectives, and this is what I absolutely love, is how many different individuals can tell literally the same story, and yet it comes across in so many different methods and perspectives.

And, and you may hear, let's just look at our kids and our parent and parent, the parent, child relationship.

How many times a parent said, do this, do this, do this, do this.

And then the parent, the child comes home, he says, you'll never believe what my teacher told me today.

And as a parent, you're sitting there like, no, duh, I've been telling you that for 20 years.

But they heard it from a different source and then suddenly it sunk in and actually resonated with them.

And then they were able to take action.

And that's exactly where we're at, is we want to leave the impact.

We want to help people become better.

I may say something.

One way you're going to say it a different way and people are going to hear it in different, at maybe a different time of life.

Somebody once said when, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

I love that.

That's true.

And I heard another way of saying that.

It's kind of funny.

It said, of course, everything that needs to be said has said, but because no one was listening, it has to be said again.

Yeah, well, sometimes it's, you were listening, but you have to.

I mean, so if you go into marketing, they say you don't really realize a message until it's been heard.

Like seven.

Seven times, I think is what the number is.

You got to hear it seven times before it sinks in.

It's the same way with teaching.

I mean, we've got to hear it over and over and over again.

And that repetition of the same message in different manners, in different formats gives us the ability to internalize and then act upon whatever that message is.

I love that.

And even if you look at, you mentioned sacred literature, the Bible and there's other sacred books as well, the level of repetition of principles and stories in the I Ching and the DAO and the Bible and all those things, it's staggering.

You could turn it all into a pamphlet.

But the effort is to use different life circumstances, different centuries, different models, and different examples so that we can hear it in a way that we will then live and do something with.

We still have things from 2,000 years ago with Socrates and Aristotle and Marcus Aurelius, and I mean, we've got writings back even 2,000 years.

So you're absolutely right.

But these guys are actually repeating some of the same things that we heard from 4,000 or 5,000 years ago.

And that's why I went back, as far as I know is the job, I think is the oldest book, as far as I know.

I mean, I could be wrong.

I don't have, you know, scholarly historical lessons on any of that, but that's just what I understand.

Well, I love.

And that particular book I love because there's lots of interesting parallels in my own life, but whatever.

So this is good.

And you know, another thing that's fun.

This episode that we're recording right now won't get released to April 1st, but I had the blessing of talking to Tim last night on my LA talk radio show.

And those of you that listen to this, if you didn't hear that, you should go back and hear it.

That would have been the episode on February 18th.

And we talked a lot about the stuff that he does working with Lego and stuff, but we're gonna talk about maybe that a little bit, but some other stuff today.

And he opted to be on both shows because you are a different audience than the others listening to that and because we're gonna talk about things in a different way now.

I'm gonna ask you a question, Tim.

I intentionally use this background behind me, and I hope you're watching, not just listening, but whatever.

It's an empty dojo, a martial arts studio, and I've spent thousands upon thousands of hours in one of those places over the decades as I've worked on martial arts.

If you look at that and what you know of martial arts and a dojo and a place like that, what does that suggest to you about our ability or about preparation for life or about acquiring skills or any of the things that are right up your alley.

Valley, in terms of teaching, I.

I love this question.

I actually have a black belt in karate, so I am very familiar with dojos.

And you didn't know that before, so.

I didn't keep going.

Yeah.

So there's an interesting thing that I have learned through this, and it is based in and around the word discipline.

In my life.

I grew up in a very conservative type Baptist background where the word discipline was very negative.

It was very, you will be disciplined if you act up or if you act out in a way that's contrary to the way that we have stated.

So it was a very negative connotation.

And so pretty much half my life, maybe more.

Anytime you heard that word discipline, you thought you were getting cracked in the head.

I mean, I'm obviously being facetious here, but you felt like the 2x4 was going to come down and break over top of your head because you did something wrong and you were going to be punished for whatever it is.

Interestingly enough, when we use the word discipline in the proper manner in the dojo is a great arena.

The discipline is the honing of a skill to master it.

So if we discipline ourselves in a manner that allows us to hone that skill, to become a master of that skill, it gives us the ability to be able to walk more confidently.

It gives us the ability to have that skill to be able to use for the greater good, for service to others.

And that discipline does not have to be a negative connotation.

It doesn't have to be a negative thing like what I grew up with, it can be a positive thing.

And understanding that we are now being able to discipline our life, our.

Our personal, interior, I call it the spiritual, you know, Persona, if we can discipline that, that allows us to gain mastery over our emotions, our mental fortitude, our physical beings, and show up in somebody else's life in a way that can impact them and help them become a better person.

I love that.

And, you know, it was just intuition to use this background.

And I had no idea that you had done martial arts.

I mean, I had a situation.

Can I share a story about that real quick?

Do we have time?

You do.

Tell me a story.

So I.

I had a situation one time where I cut my foot pretty bad.

And I.

So we were going to the dojo, and he had a white mat, a white canvas mat.

And so I cut my foot pretty bad, and I had stitches and all kinds of stuff, but I still went.

I still went and did the disciplines.

I still went and took the classes, was able to go through.

And I remember my sensei, he was so afraid that I was going to get blood on the mat, so he made me wrap that thing up.

But he allowed me to keep going, allowed me to keep practicing.

But he was scared to death.

The point is, is don't let things stop you.

I mean, like, if you know and you've got a purpose, even a cut or something else, you can find ways around that.

And it was just something that I learned.

I was just A kid.

But I mean, like, I got to do this.

I got to be committed, I got to get it done.

And I had a goal, and I was.

There's a lot of other motivation behind why I wanted to have the lessons, but even a cut foot wouldn't stop me from getting that that next day lesson or getting the next level of the blacks or blues or wherever I was at.

So I want to go down that road for a minute because the commitment to growth is what underpins my work.

Underpins your work with Lego leadership and all that.

It is a commitment to growth and your example as a youngster, deciding that it was more important to honor that commitment than to take what could have been an obvious and easy respite for a week or two or three while your foot healed.

It is a choice that we make.

And the fact that you had to wrap the foot is irrelevant.

It was the requirement in order to continue.

And you were saying, yeah, I'll do whatever.

I have to wrap the foot, stand on my head, whatever.

Because you made a choice to continue.

And then you made a comment earlier about the spiritual discipline.

I want you to talk for a minute about the choices available and powerful to us in disciplining our spirit or our energetic being.

I think it comes down to a motive more than anything else, and I'll relate a couple of different things.

And then I also want to reference this book.

It's out of print now, but it's a book Coming out of the Ice by Victor Hugo, I think his name is, and I'd have to look at it just to make sure.

But coming out of the ice, incredible in depth.

Look at the power that we have with our minds and with our bodies.

Things that he accomplished.

He sidetrack here real quick.

He was a prisoner in one of the concentration camps in Russia, and they tried to kill him off multiple times.

One of the times that they tried to kill him off was they said, you're going to go out and load this rail car full of logs before you can come back and eat.

So if you don't, if you make the decision you don't want to do it, you sit down and you just die.

That's literally the choice.

You sit down and die, or you fill this rail car full of logs.

Out of 10 people, he is the only one that filled the rail car with logs and made it back to the camp.

The only one.

Nine other people made a choice to die on that rail car.

And it's interesting because that shows, and there's a lot of Other things shows the power that we have within our minds when we make a commitment, when we're motivated and there's hope.

So switching back into this whole aspect of the karate.

The reason I wanted karate, because I had zero confidence as a kid.

I was one that everybody picked on.

I was always so the biggest.

So there was two, two things that were going on in my junior high.

I was awkward, I was the youngest, but I was also the biggest kid in the class.

And so people constantly picked on me and a lot of different things.

And I got in a fight one day and I didn't know how to fight, I didn't know how to hold my own.

And so situation came around.

The guy came around the school bus and literally clocked me, blindsided me.

And I just was like raving lunatic in the fight.

I mean, swinging my arms, kicking everything.

I didn't know what to do.

I had no control over everything, started taking those lessons and my motive was confidence and I wanted to be able to hold my own.

And I recall later, after I had gotten through many, many different lessons, I had another situation where a guy came around and clocked me again, same situation in a school, in high school that time.

And I remember being so cool headed because I had the confidence that I had gotten through the discipline.

So you talk about choices.

One is the fact, the reason why I made that choice is because I had a deeper motivation.

I wanted confidence, I wanted not to be kicked around.

I didn't want to have the life that I had at that point.

And then the result of it, which I didn't expect, was this increase in confidence.

The interesting thing is because of my confidence, I was able to back down the bully without even getting into a fight.

So I had all of this training.

I'm like, okay, I'm ready to go.

I'm actually ready to get in this fight because he's coming at me and I'm going to defend myself and I'm ready.

And then because he saw how much confidence I had, he backed off.

And I was just like that.

That revelation to me was just, especially as a kid, I'm like, oh, so in other words, if I act in confidence and if I, I believe the things that I've been training myself to do in that discipline, people are going to respond different to, differently to me.

And so I know I'm kind of rabbit trailing back and forth, but the main point is what you asked about this fact of why is discipline so important and how does that actually focus our, our direction and the choices that we make.

One is making sure that we've got the motive.

Two is when we do the daily tasks or we do the actions, and maybe they're on daily, maybe they're weekly, maybe they're monthly.

We gain confidence in who we are.

And through that confidence, it gives us the ability to act within our strength, within our skills, within our personality, because we're confident as that individual.

And without that confidence, I really, truly don't believe that you can build that ultimate life.

I don't believe that you can actually get into what it is that you need to in order to be able.

You have to go through that training, make the choices to show up through the hard, through the rain, through the storms, through the trauma, through whatever it is, show up and purpose that you're going to learn something and grow through it and discipline yourself to get through it.

Because that's what gives you the confidence when something else bigger comes down the line.

I love that.

And that's not a rabbit trail at all, because the creation, I'm using that word on purpose.

The creation of your life, ultimate or sucky, is a creation.

And what you're saying is if you have the discipline to have a purpose and a goal and you make those choices, you can create whatever you want to.

And it is by following those disciplines.

And so that's very relevant.

And the story's fun.

So a delightful story that you did that.

I have never told that story on any podcast.

This is the first time I've ever told that story.

So delightful, delightful.

Well, I share.

I spent many, many, many years in it.

And I ran a dojo for a little while.

And the interesting thing about confidence is when I took my second degree black belt test in one particular discipline, and I have it in a couple, you had to do a breaking a set of braking things.

And I had eight braking stations and it was all choreographed.

And you had about six or seven seconds to get through all eight stations.

And the last one was five cinder block tops, five of those, two inch cinder block, five of those to break.

And, you know, I thought about it later and it's funny because of all the pictures that someone took, that was the only one that came out.

And one of the people who was the owners of the dojo, her face was caught in the mirror right at the moment of impact and she was like this.

And it looked like this horrifying thought of, you know, this is either going to work or every bone between the wrist and the shoulder is going to be destroyed.

Right.

And so that's Funny.

Anyway, I love that.

So thank you for sharing all that.

So, as you've learned those disciplines and you've now applied them to the confidence that it takes to create, I want to take a little dive into the spirit, our spiritual realm, if you're willing, a little bit.

Absolutely.

Several references to it.

So talk about why spiritual confidence is important to develop and nothing's off limits.

You're free to discuss it in any way you'd like to, but we have the physical things where we learn a skill and we make money and we do the outward things.

My belief, my certainty, because of my experience, is that the inward is more important in the foundation.

So talk about developing confidence and discipline there.

Yeah.

I think one of the biggest things is there's a difference.

And I'm going to go into a little of what the world would consider taboo because you said nothing's off limits.

But I think there's a significant difference between formal religion and the relationship that we have with our Savior.

I am not on the side of formal religion.

I don't go down that road because I feel like it is a fake practice.

In most cases, it's a ritual that doesn't hold a whole lot of meaning, except for the fact.

Okay, check that off the box.

I did it.

It's not a relationship.

And so I.

I kind of shy away from what I would consider former religion because I feel like it's very institutional and it doesn't really give us the.

Basically, here's what happens if somebody shows up to church on Sunday.

They go through all the process and everything, and it doesn't impact their life.

Right.

So they go the rest of the week.

I agree with you, by the way.

Yeah.

They go the rest of the week and they just act the way that they always did.

And then they come back to Sunday and then they act something like different.

And I like.

So to me, and I mentioned this on your.

On the radio show, I have four values, and one of the very first one is authenticity.

And when we talk about authenticity, if I'm going to go show up at church on Sunday and act in a manner that is contrary to the way that I act the rest of the week, that's not for me.

That's not the way I want to go.

However, I deeply believe that we must have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

That is a core element.

So it starts with that foundational component, and that's where all of the spiritual aspect begins.

For me.

In that spiritual side, there is two elements.

It's our internal right There's a life that lives internally, which is what you were mentioning.

And I truly believe in that internal side of things.

There is this aspect of.

I guess you could call it the seat of our emotion.

They used to call it the stomach or the gut.

Sometimes now, especially in our modern language, we talk about our heart and how our heart feels.

Our heart is broken.

We use a lot of those kinds of terms, but that is the seat of our emotions.

If we don't get in touch and understand that internal spiritual side and be able to be in touch with our emotions, then we have no idea how to be able to react with the rest of the world.

Because especially when we talk about emotional intelligence and iq.

I mean, we could talk about spiritual.

I kind of mesh those things together.

First of all, it starts with that relationship with.

With Jesus Christ, who is the superior in my life.

And that's the being, that's the foundation, the morality upon which I based everything.

Then the second step of that is the emotional side of things.

And I look at how am I managing my emotions?

Am I allowing them to run away?

An interesting thing in this part of it, a little cue.

Somebody just introduced me to this idea a couple of weeks, or maybe it was a month, a couple months ago.

A little cue to know if we've got our emotions in check is the difference in the gap of a reaction and what I mean by that.

He shared this with me.

So there was a situation where there was a justifiable reaction.

It was justifiable to be angry about a situation, but it wasn't a justifiable reaction.

So in other words, here's a situation is somebody does something and it irks you, so you get frustrated, you get a little bit angry.

But are you overreacting where you're actually going to an extreme of yelling and arguing and.

And going off the edge of this reaction.

And that gap between what happened and the reaction that you actually had shows that you're not in control or in touch or understand even your internal emotions.

So that.

That should raise a question.

That's like a red flag.

It's like, hey, what's going on there?

What's happening?

And that's something that you have to deal with.

That's a whole nother conversation.

But that is going back to this whole component of the spiritual side of things is you have to very quickly take the time.

I don't want to say quickly.

You have to take the time, whatever time is necessary to analyze what the heck is going on internally.

Because sometimes those are the hardest Conversations that we have, they're the most awkward, they're the most difficult because we as a society have sped our lives up.

We feast on adrenaline.

We feast on all of the stuff that's going on, whether it's a news channel, and I don't care what news channel you listen to or a social media, you're feasting on it.

And you have a constant barrage of sound input, emotions.

And we choose not to deal with our own personal.

So when we're looking at this, we have to be able to take time to sit down and be quiet and analyze what the heck is going on internally, because otherwise we're going to implode at some point in time.

And I can tell you from I worked with about 100,000 affiliates in a program one time, and all of those affiliates, they all started making some serious money.

And every one of them, when they didn't take the time to understand themselves, they imploded.

And they imploded through drugs, they imploded through DUIs or they got thrown in jail.

Some of them lost their lives because they were doing things.

There was an implosion because they weren't taking care of their own personal internal life and they weren't growing with the success that was being surrounded around them.

I love that.

And I intentionally invited you into the spiritual side because, you know, you mentioned Christ as the Savior, regardless of the name, you give that, that being and that feeling.

And I honor.

And I'm also a Christian.

But to speaking to those that aren't, you know, there is something above you.

You know, there is power and organization.

You know you came from somewhere, you know you're going somewhere.

You may call different, but you know that.

And the spirit is the foundation of the physical.

The physical follows the spiritual.

And so if you chase the physical around without, without having a foundation on spiritual, it will collapse, as in your example.

And I'm a perfect.

I'm not talking about something I don't know.

I lived that.

So I, I totally get that.

And I appreciate your, your description of that and going there.

What do you do?

Like, you're martial artist, you obviously take care of yourself physically.

I can see that.

What is your spiritual preparation?

Like, how do you do that?

Not every day, whatever you do.

No, it's a good question.

So I actually go through a different process for different things.

And I mentioned this on the radio, but I'm just like, dude, this is so me.

I am all over the place when it comes to things.

And I don't like the same thing over and over again because I get bored, frankly, it's just my personality and I've now come to embrace that and I really love that.

So there's a lot of things I do.

One of the biggest things though, is I'm a reader.

I have a whole bookshelf full of books.

And it's not, I know there's other people that like audio.

They take the time that I want to physically read a book, and here's why.

First of all, it slows me down.

Now, I'm a pretty fast reader, and so if I'm listening to something, sometimes I'll get distracted.

But I want that physical book to be right in front of me.

And I literally have four or five books that are right here.

And I've got processes and a system that I use for when I read.

But that's the first thing is I need to read.

Now, there's a combination of different types of reading.

And so one of the things is I like to read based on a purpose or a research.

Why do I, what, what is it that I'm trying?

I don't want to just read to read for sake.

I, I, I don't do that kind of a thing.

I want to what is the purpose of this book and why am I trying to read this?

Or what am I researching?

And whether that scripture or through some other different takes on what the scripture says or different, there's all kinds of different ways to do that, but I want to research and look into that.

The second part of that, though, is what's again that awkward conversation that, that what's going on internally?

What do I really think about what's being said and how can I apply that and then take action on that?

So journaling is a huge part of my life.

I've got now, 1, 2, I'm looking up on my board here.

1, 2, 3, 4.

I've got 5, 4, 4, 4 completed, 5 completed journals and I've got one here that's almost completed that I have with me all the time.

And there's specific things that I write in there.

And whether that's note taking from things that I'm hearing or listening or books that I'm doing or like, hey, this was a.

Gratitude is a big, big thing for me.

These are things that I'm grateful for.

Or frankly, there's times when I'm sitting there yelling like, what the heck is going on?

Like, I don't understand this life.

I'm in the middle of crap right now and I don't get it.

Why is this happening to me?

I don't deserve this.

And I kind of just vocalize that through my journaling because that gives me a way to vent, for lack of a better word.

I just vent through that and it relieves some of that stress.

It allows me to get that out rather than clamming that off.

Do you find that.

Obviously you do.

This is a stupid question, what I was saying.

There's no stupid questions.

We're all good.

I mean, the answer is obviously yes.

You find that this diversity and focusing on this internal conversation keeps you grounded and connected to the spiritual plane?

Absolutely, 100%.

Do you find that grounding and connecting to the spiritual plane is a non negotiable essential to your life?

Absolutely.

And I would add one more thing to that because we talked about kind of the study and the intake.

There's another piece of that that I didn't mention, which is the disconnect.

We have to disconnect.

And every year we plan to disconnect.

And sometimes I disconnect with myself.

In other words, I'm just by myself.

But other times I'll actually disconnect and I'll take people that I really love and trust.

And frankly, in the last four years, I think it's been.

It's been with My boys, my two oldest boys, he's 25 and 22, and we'll actually go on a backpacking trip anywhere between three and up to five days.

And on that backpacking trip, you don't have any cell signal.

You don't have anybody else that you're counting on.

You don't have.

You pack in all your food, you pack in your tent, you pack in everything that you're going to need to survive for the next five days.

You're packing that in.

And when I'm saying disconnect, you're grounding yourself back to what.

What I call the nature's aspect.

And there's a very important key when we ground ourselves back to nature, it shows us how small we are.

Sometimes, especially in my own life, I tend to get egotistical and I like to get a big head.

And I think, oh man, look at all this great stuff that I'm doing.

And then I go out in the woods and I sit there and it's pitch black.

And you see all these millions of stars up there, or you hear the owls calling and all the different things that are going on.

It's amazing how small you feel.

And it shows you truly how this little bit of my life is.

It's Insignificant, but yet it is significant and I'm honored to be a part of that.

I'm honored that somebody would use me because there's so many other things out there and there's universe that are just so much more beyond what I understand and how I can even cope.

So that grounding with nature gives us that chance to really come back to a base of humility.

So when you were getting beat up or behind the bus, decided to go take martial arts.

Yeah, it was a couple minutes ago.

Right.

So you've been on a journey through things that led you here.

And so one of the most precious things we can share with people because when someone looks at me, 20 books I've written and all this stuff, or looks at you, the successful leadership business, they mistakenly get the feeling that I can't do that I can't have, that it won't work for me.

No, no, no, no lucky breaks, whatever excuses we create.

And the important thing is the sharing of the journey.

The successes, the failures, the questions, you know, the answers, the circuitous things.

What kind of give me a story or two.

Oh man.

About you, about your own growth, where you uncovered some profound things that shaped or are continuing to shape your life.

I would say this the number one question in my head, and this has been consistent all the way up through my 20s and, and potentially sometimes it comes up even now and I'm in my 50s at this point.

Why don't I fit?

Why don't I fit with all of the people that are doing things that I feel like are normal or what society tells me is normal?

I wrestled, when I say wrestled with that question, I deeply wrestled with that question.

I would do things like.

And this I remember I was literally in fourth grade and I don't know why I can clearly remember some of these things, but I remember I in fourth grade and, and I'm, I'm innocent looking at this and I was like, I said to a friend, I said, yeah, I just really, truly enjoy going out in the woods and playing by myself.

And all of these little middle aged kids, they all started giggling and they all started laughing and I didn't realize.

Now I realized, but then I didn't realize, like, what are you laughing at?

They, they had that sexual connotation to it.

And I was just like, dude, I'm not, that's not.

And so it made me really question, am I okay?

And so because I didn't fit and because of that I actually look at am I okay?

And the conclusion that I came to is no, I'm not.

Okay, because I obviously don't fit with everybody else.

I'm not their image of what it is.

My sister made perfect grades and everybody asked, well, why can't you be more like your sister and making grades?

But on the flip side of that, if we got locked out of the house, guess who had to figure out how to get in the house?

I did.

I was able to figure that stuff out.

I was able to come down and logically go through stuff and I had to take care of those kinds of things.

The interesting thing is I struggled so hard with the fact that I didn't fit, that I went above and beyond and attempting to fit in.

For a long time I went to the edges of saying, I, how is it or what is it that I need to do in order to be accepted?

I use those words kind of in air quotes.

How did I, how did I, what did I have to do in order to be accepted in the popular society?

And frankly, I never was.

I would just go, now that journey has led me.

So I'm going to bring back in this whole discipline and this structure and working on yourself.

Because if I'm attempting to live somebody else's life or something else, this other narrative that they're putting on me, I am never going to be satisfied.

And I'm constantly going to be empty and I'm going to constantly be chasing something that's out there although I don't know what it is.

And I will never find satisfaction.

I will never find fulfillment.

The only way to find fulfillment is to go back, work on the disciplines of who I am, understand what my skills and what my talents are, how I was uniquely created and crafted, what is the personality, what are my passions, Kind of put that into a melting pot to be able to come up with what I would say is the purpose of my life and then understand that that purpose, I am the only one that gets to live that purpose.

You are the only one that gets to live that purpose.

Nobody else is going to be able to fulfill that purpose except you.

And so here I am as a kid looking at this and saying, okay, I need to fill so and so's purpose or this purpose or that purpose.

And I'm finding just complete emptiness and I'm finding frustration and I'm finding all of these other challenges that don't make me who I am.

And it wasn't until I actually went on this journey of self discovery and be able to say, okay, what is my purpose?

And then realizing I was placed here on Earth for that purpose.

And I'm the only one that gets to be Tim Crowell.

Nobody else does.

So whoever's listening, I would say this.

You're the only one.

And I want you to say this out loud.

I'm the only one.

And put your name in.

I'm the only one that gets to be.

And put your name in there.

Because you have a unique purpose.

You have a specific purpose calling a way to be able to impact this world that nobody else can do.

I am grateful that you said that.

I share, I echo, I agree with that message and that uniqueness.

Everybody says I'm special, and other people say, yeah, different sides of that thing.

But the literal, absolute, eternal, profound truth is you're divinely created.

You're here for a reason.

You had a purpose that you not only agreed to, but you were stoked about before you came.

And you have the gifts and talents unique to that purpose.

And so, of course, you don't fit in anybody else's narrative.

You can't.

And embracing one that truth and then relaxing into the discovery process instead of frantically panting your way, trying to force the discovery process is so rewarding and joyful.

Does that sound right to you?

Absolutely.

I would add one more thing to that.

Everything was spot on.

And I would add one more thing to that.

This was another area of struggle.

I used to bemoan or begrudge the experience that I had in life.

Some of the stuff that I had to do as a child through middle school or junior high, I used to.

We ended up moving when I was in ninth grade.

We moved from one side of the state to the other side of the state, from East Pennsylvania to West Pennsylvania, uprooted new, new friends, knew everything.

Then I went to one school for a year, and then we changed and we went to another school.

So I literally spent two years in the school that I graduated.

Then I went to college and I moved around.

I have had a lot of experiences.

I used to begrudge that because I'm looking like, well, why couldn't I have a stability?

Why couldn't I be something normal?

Why couldn't I that Now I look back and I'm like, man, those experiences were unique to me, which gives me a unique way to relate to other people.

So I would strongly encourage those that are going through things and whether it's a move or maybe it's trauma, maybe it's an accident, maybe it's, I broke my leg my junior, My junior year of high school broke my leg, was unable to play in the basketball game, just so you guys know, and most people don't understand this, but I had a 60 shooting average when I was on the court.

It's huge when you're in high school.

Yeah, it's a high, high, high percentage field goal percentage rate.

So I had a 60, a huge chance of scholarships, a lot of other things.

And I broke my leg and lost an entire year, which set me back massively in that.

And then I went and I got to college.

And the very first game that I was on the court, I jumped up and I twisted my ankle.

I never played one game of college ball, not one game because I couldn't play.

And then I just everything moved off and I ended up going in a different direction.

So I look at that and think, oh, man, it's a waste, it's a waste, it's a waste.

But yet at the same time, it gave me the ability to understand my human body and the amount that I could take.

And when I.

There's a lot of things that go into this, and I'm talking kind of fast because I feel like we're getting close to our time here.

But you mentally, physically, can do far beyond what you actually think you can do.

Far beyond.

And that's, again, coming back to this, coming out of the ice.

That book opened my eyes because I read it right about the time I broke my leg.

You have the ability to do things that you didn't even know that you could accomplish.

And if you give yourself permission to try and to push and to break through that, well, I don't feel like I could.

If you give yourself permission, physically, mentally, spiritually, socially, you can do it far, far more than you believe you can.

And if I can instill that belief on somebody, then I'll say this entire thing was worth it.

If we can just instill that belief on one person, saying you can do it, this whole entire conversation is worthwhile.

I second that and agree with that.

And I would say I'm thankful for you for saying all that and saying it so convincingly and powerfully.

Because the things.

It is almost always the tough stuff that we have that shape our character and that causes us to blossom and grow.

It's not the successes, it's the things that at the moment feel like terrifying and bad.

And our ability, I mean, being divine beings, we have that DNA.

So why is it shocking that we can create awesomeness?

Why is that a surprise?

It shouldn't be and it can't be.

That's amazing.

So you're right.

We're about to get toward the end.

What else would you like to share as teaching, as lesson from your own experiences, from.

Because I love your passion and the stories and the truth of your, of your expression.

And truth carries its own power.

So what didn't I ask you that you'd like to share?

The one thing that I can say, and this is what I struggle with, and this is why I'm so passionate about my, what I do as far as the LEGO activities, the LEGO workshops, talking about narrative live.

The reason why I'm so passionate about all of those things is it all hinges on this one key.

I grew up really alone.

I grew up believing that I was the only one going through challenges, trials, issues.

There are many, many times, and I can go back and recite many stories where I thought, well, I'm the only one that has to do this.

I'm the only one that can do this.

When I say this, I'm not even kidding.

I literally unloaded an entire trailer full of household goods, all the furniture, sofa, everything.

I did it by myself and repacked it into a garage because nobody else would help me, me.

And I mentally just put my mind to it.

So I know from experience that you can overcome a lot.

But here's the, here's the thing that I want to make sure.

I, I, I express, I did it out of a false belief or a false narrative, that I was the only one.

If I would have taken the time to look and ask for help, I didn't have to do it alone.

So many people go through this world, through this life, believing that they're the only ones going through that because they're afraid to either ask or they believe that everybody else's life is perfect and that because they have problems, they're the only one.

And so therefore I can't share.

That's so, so much a false narrative.

And I wish I could break that.

Because if we can get past this aspect and be able to be humble enough to reach out and ask for help, the whole world can change for you.

The whole world can open up into this huge thing that you don't even know is possible.

But if you stay under that lie, that false narrative that you're the only one going through, whatever it is that you're going through, nobody can really help because you will not break out of your own soul.

You won't break out of your own box.

So that's the one thing that if I could express more than anything else, is just know that you're not alone.

There are people out there that want and are able to help.

And all you have to do is either pick up the phone or reach out via email or just contact somebody because there's people there that are desperate and want to be able to help you because they've gone through it and they know exactly how you're feeling.

Thank you for sharing that.

I 100% agree.

I'm the only one is a common, common, common theme when we do coaching or when we talk to people.

Oh, I'm not the only one.

Oh, that is so true that people think that and so not true that you're not alone and so true that there is help in people willing and anxious and excited and would be delighted for the opportunity to share and lift and be with you.

Tim, I want to thank you for your passion, for your love and for who you're being in the world, both for yourself, to your clients, to your boys, and everyone that is impacted by the truth of your being.

Thank you.

Yeah, thank you.

Thanks for having me.

And this has been incredible.

I mean, I.

I love hearing from people, yourselves as well as anybody that's listening.

So please reach out.

I'd love to hear you.

How's the best way to get a hold of you?

The best way is email timcroll.com or LinkedIn.

Those are the two easiest way.

I'm on there all the time, except for when I'm disconnected.

I do take those sabbaticals.

Other than that, I'm here, I'm available, and I love being able to hear those words and, and people just.

Even if it's just to ask me a question, man, that's what I love to do if it gives me so much fulfillment.

I have a statement up here says how who have I impacted today?

And I live by that.

I just want to leave an impact.

And if somebody asks a question, I'm more than willing to connect with you.

I want to emphasize that Tim means it when he says that.

I know him.

I know him from several interviews and also because over the years, I've become good at reading people's energy.

I want you to listen to this a couple of times.

Tim talks fast and that's good because there's a lot packed in there and that's okay.

Go through it, take some notes, listen to what resonates for you and discover your uniqueness.

Because in that uniqueness and your commitment to living it fully, that's going to be your ticket to creating your ultimate life right here, right now.

Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.

Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.

If you want to know more, go to kellenfluekermedia.com if you want more free tools, go here.

YourUltimateLife CA Subscribe SA.