Who Are You Really? Unleash Your Inner Aragorn and Live Your Best Life

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Hey there.

Welcome to this episode of your ultimate life.

You know, I have said this now 900 and something, 960 something times.

I created this podcast.

Maybe you don't know the story.

I created it at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020, so five years ago now.

And I did it because right at the beginning, I'm sure you remember of the pandemic stuff.

No one really knew how big this was going to be.

And especially those first few weeks, pretty scary.

And it sounded like it could be really serious, you know, end of the world stuff.

And I didn't really think it would be, but you never know, right?

It's kind of scary.

So anyway, when the words lockdown first started getting spoken, people were worried.

And I remember Joy and I, after lockdown started, right, our church quit holding services in the building and stores were closed and I got clients all over the place that had stores and a guy had a gym, you know, they were closed and nobody knew, you know, how this was going to play out in terms of money or people making a living or, you know, all kinds of pretty radical stuff happened pretty fast.

Anyway, I remember going on a drive with Joy and I remember the articles that came out at the time and said, wow, for the first time, I think it was somewhere in India.

You can see the peaks, these certain Tibetan peaks and meaning the air's clearer, factories and all kinds of things were shut down.

And it struck me at the time how a change, and yeah, it was pretty radical and pretty sudden, but a change created such quick results.

Like after just a few weeks, two, three or four weeks, you know, the air began to clear.

In other words, the earth began to heal itself from the stuff that we inflicted inflict on it.

And I'm not a climate alarmist or any anything alarmist, but I'm fully aware that we have inflicted all kinds of pollution and negative stuff on the earth and on ourselves and on each other.

And that's part of what I want to talk about today.

So anyway, to start the podcast, somewhere in that first several weeks, someone called my wife Joy.

And as you know, she's my business partner.

As you also know, she's an angel and a holy being and lives.

I get to live with an angel.

Don't know if you know what that's like to live with a heavenly being in your house all the time.

Keeps you on good, good focus and, and good thoughts.

Right.

Anyway, this person had been in a Mastermind with us many several years before that, in probably 2014 or something, so six years earlier.

And they had never been a client, but we had met in the Mastermind meetings that were in person then.

And so, you know, we knew him pretty good.

But anyway, they had called and asked Joy if we had.

Does Kellen have a podcast?

Was the question.

And we didn't at the time.

And he was calling because he knew me and knew that if I had one, it would be, you know, one of encouragement and growth and stuff.

And so it felt like he was looking for something to help him through this.

And we didn't have one.

But she said yes.

And then she told.

Came down and told me, and her office was on the main floor and my office was down in the basement because I have several offices, studios and stuff.

But anyway, she came down and told me she'd said that.

So we immediately started thinking, okay, we're going to have a podcast.

And that's where this was born.

I decided to call it your ultimate life to counteract the fear that was pervasive in the world.

A little fear, a lot of fear, but it was certainly there and it was certainly fear mongered by different people.

And we're not going to get into the politics of who should have done what, et cetera, et cetera, because that's now years old, although we're still struggling with consequences.

I saw a report the other day that said that at least in the US now, Joy and I live in Canada, but at least in the U.S.

kids in school have never recovered.

The missed school has never been made up, test scores are worse than they've ever been.

And, you know, I don't know if that report was accurate or whatever, but I'm not surprised.

You know, that did a lot of lasting damage.

And I talk to a lot of people as a coach.

I meet people, several new people.

I just looked at my calendar and I've got at least six or seven brand new people I've never talked to before.

Going to talk to and meet this week and often will.

People will say, you know, after the 2008 meltdown, people would say, oh, man, I had, you know, meltdown, lost my life, business, whatever.

Now there's also.

And Covid did X.

And for some people, Covid was a boon.

For others, it was a bust, a big disaster.

And I remember I was using Zoom, which we are now all live and breathe before the pandemic.

I had picked it up after I'd been using Google Hangouts for a while, and then I started using Zoom because it was faster and easier and it just seemed better.

And so anyway, I'd been using it for a while and suddenly the beginning of the pandemic, staying at home, et cetera, et cetera, everybody in the universe suddenly knew who Zoom was and, you know, blasted off and like five times in size because of that.

And now it is, you know, one of the ubiquitous tools.

There's also Google Meet, which is the replacement of Hangouts and Microsoft Teams and all that stuff.

But anyway, I remember at the same time that happened, Joy and I went for a drive one day and it was amazing.

Streets were empty, there were very few cars.

Gasoline prices dropped to nearly half because so many people were just staying home.

And I was just astounded.

And it sort of felt apocalyptic, right, because good things were happening.

Clear skies and this and that and the other, and then a bunch of terrible things.

Economic crash in some senses.

And for some people, really.

And all this change happened very quickly.

So anyway, and I just remember the drive and we commented to each other, wow, this looks like a ghost town.

And we live in a town of a million.

Edmonton, Alberta is a million plus.

And it was just an astounding drive.

And I was thinking about that today because of this episode, which is if you knew who you are, the reason they're related is because at a time like that, we can feel powerless, we can feel overwhelmed.

Externalities have completely shut us down.

You know, thoughts about what the future was going to bring were completely different.

Vacations you were going to take, businesses you were going to grow, all the kinds of stuff that were affected by in person things and travel and all the rest were suddenly gone.

And so those kind of externalities can be completely overwhelming.

And I remember that feeling because I was already working from home as a coach.

I wasn't going to be affected in my ability to deliver services.

But certainly some of my clients were dramatically affected.

And we had to plan strategies to deal with this sudden and abrupt and significant change of events.

And now that's five years ago and not everybody, but most people are back in and maybe they're doing completely different things.

Business changed, the nature of product, services changed, Remote work became feasible and then even desirable.

And now, I guess, like I said, we're in Canada, but in the US there's a big push to, you know, require all federal workers at least to go back to offices and some don't want to.

And I, I'm not following all the details, but I saw an article that said that some 75,000 had accepted some sort of a, a buyout because they don't want to return to the office, whatever.

But those kinds of events can make us feel powerless and question a lot of things right down to base level stuff.

So I want to ask you this question and it's just framed like that.

If you knew who you are now, what does that even mean?

Well, I want you to think about the Lord of the Rings.

I'm hoping you've either read the books or seen the movies or something.

There was a dude in the Lord of the Rings and his name was Aragorn and his real name is like five names.

Eller, Ella, Aragorn, Eliezer something something, something, right?

And it turned out he was really the son of Arathorne, heir of Isildur, son of Elendil, who was a Numenoren of way back and you know, some hundred generations before and was the rightful king of Gondor and, and he didn't like that.

He didn't want anybody to know, he didn't want to talk about it.

He rejected it.

But the fact that it was true, whether he liked it or not, gave him several things.

As a Numenoran, he had a very long age cycle.

In fact, he was 80, I think, in the Lord of the Rings and lived till he was 200 and something, I think, if I remember right.

So he had an extra long lifespan.

But he was the rightful heir and of noble bearing and power and people were looking to him as a leader.

And that gradually dawned on him through that, you know, through the series.

At first he didn't want to be that.

He went by another name entirely and didn't want to talk about him being Dunedin from the north countries or whatever.

And I'm not an expert with Lord of the Rings, although I did really enjoy all the movies and have watched him several times for lots of reasons.

And so the question is, who are you?

Who are you really in real life?

And the question, if you knew who you are to Aragorn, you know, now that it was becoming clear to him who he really was, then he realized he had not only the opportunity but some could say the obligation to stand up and be who he was, to show up in all of the honor and power and, you know, that kind of stuff.

And there's one place where he and he alone could release some group of ghosts from their oath that they had broken and all kinds of stuff.

But anyway, who are you?

Do you know?

Do you own it?

There's a song that my mother used to sing as a.

When I was a child, and it's a spiritual song and it talks about being a child of God.

And it goes, do you know who you are, little child of mine?

And there's several verses and it goes through our.

The fact that we've been somewhere and we all know that we came from somewhere, we feel it.

Sometimes it's deja vu, sometimes it feels like past life, whatever, but we know we've been somewhere and we know we're not done.

When we're dying, we're going somewhere.

And the framing of that and how we think of it is different for different people.

But it doesn't matter.

We have that sense of continuity.

So who are you?

Well, at number one, you're a divine being.

Number one, you're an eternal being.

Like, you will never stop existing whether you repeat lives here or you move on to another plane.

You know, the idea that we're here to learn certain things, et cetera, et cetera, is true.

We're here to see what we do with this agency.

We've been given the right of choice by God, our creator.

And sometimes that choice is constrained.

If you grow up in a place where there's famine, you deal with a lot of hunger.

If you grow up in a place with you as a dictator, there's a, you know, some kind of dictatorial government, you lose some physical freedoms, but the truth is in your mind.

Who you choose to be, how you choose to think, what you choose to create out of life, given the cards that you're dealt, is always in our hands, right?

And every person that I talk to has a history, has a history of difficult things.

Some are severe hunger and abuse, and some are less severe, neglect.

And some have regular sort of two parent upbringings and still, excuse me, end up feeling like they're not valuable.

But the truth, undeniable, incontrovertible, can't get away from it.

Truth is that you're a divine being.

You're created by God and you have a mission, a purpose for being here.

One of the purposes, it's really obvious, is just to see what we make of ourselves.

Because you and I, we have the right to choose.

Even though, you know, this hard circumstance or that hard circumstance, in the place we are, we can choose what we make of ourselves.

Do we give up and be resigned?

Do we rail against others?

Do we shame and blame ourselves or others?

Or do we simply accept what is not in resignation, but not in anger or, you know, railing against it, but say, what can I create out of this?

And what I know from my own life and from the life of others is when we say, what can I create out of this?

And then we go to work with our creative genius that we can create way more than if we, you know, live in learned helplessness or victim mindset or entitlement, you know, railing against God, why did you do this to me?

The circumstances are what they are, and you're still a child of God.

And that means you have the attributes, the DNA, as it were, of the creator of the universe.

Now, there's no doubt that they're, excuse me, that those attributes are in embryo, like they're not fully developed in any universe yet, but they're still there.

Like the, the oak tree is in the acorn.

Your fullest divine expression, and so is mine, is in us already.

Now it's an embryo.

We have to grow it, we have to feed it.

You know the story of the white wolf and the, the black wolf?

The way I heard it was, there's a Indian legend and a dad is teaching his youngster, there's always a, a black wolf and a white wolf inside of you.

And the black wolf represents everything that's selfish and negative and hurtful and bad.

And the white wolf represents love and service and giving and leadership and kindness, etc.

And they are always in conflict.

Well, you've experienced that many, many times.

And maybe you experience it every day, maybe right now even.

And at the end of the fable, why, you know, the son asks his dad, well, who wins?

The white one or the black one?

And the answer is the one you feed.

And so as, as sort of cutesy as that is, it's eternal truth.

And what does it mean to feed the white or the black wolf?

Well, lots of ways to describe that, and you can think of a dozen yourself.

But I'll give you some suggestions.

If I spent a bunch of time, or spend a bunch of time ruminating about a failure in the past, angry, frustrated, feeling cheated or beat down, I'm feeding the black wolf.

If I say, well, that happened, that was not what I wanted, what can I do now?

How can I get over, get past or grow from this?

I'm feeding the white wolf.

If some unfortunate thing happens and I rail against God or the government or my business partner that ripped me off a hundred thousand dollars or my life partner that cheated on me or whatever, if I Spend a lot of time viciously living in the victim corner.

I'm feeding the black wolf.

And there's a couple of really sad consequences to that.

Number one, I become powerless.

I become a ball of rage, a ball of hurt, a ball of frustration, a ball of negativity.

Because that's all I'm living in, or I'm living there a lot of time.

The other thing is that is sad is, yeah, I've become a ball of negativity.

And so I've hurt myself.

That also hurts everybody around me that I might interact with.

If I have a spouse, if I have a family, if I have kids, if I have others, clients that I might serve, you know.

So I not only affect myself negatively, I affect tons of other people because I chose to feed the black wolf.

Now, when stuff happens to you and to me, it happens and it hurts.

Pain is necessary.

Suffering is optional.

That simply means, gee, that stuff's gonna happen.

And that stuff is addiction, betrayal, unkindness, cruelty, illness, abandonment, you know, abuse.

I mean, some smaller things, you know, shame, guilt, all that stuff's gonna happen.

So just know that it's going to happen.

The only thing that matters isn't that it happened, isn't that I get justice or retribution or whatever on the person or thing that caused it.

Those are irrelevant.

What matters is what I do with it.

I want to tell you this from the deepest part of my heart.

That's the only thing that matters.

Because it already happened.

If I contributed to it by being stupid, I learned something.

If I didn't contribute to it and I was completely blindsided and taken advantage of, I learned to be more careful.

I also have an opportunity to forgive.

Now, forgiveness doesn't and never will mean putting yourself in harm's way.

Returning to an abusive or difficult situation doesn't mean any of that.

So don't be thinking that.

What it does mean is I'm going to forgive that person because I can.

They are on their own journey and whatever consequences are appropriate to their own actions are not mine to mete out they belong to.

That eternal karma goes around, comes around the justice of the divine.

It's not mine.

And if I spend a bunch of time and I've done this worrying about when they're going to get their comeuppance.

All I've done is eat my insides out.

All I've done is reduce my ability to be valuable.

All I've done is reduce my ability to love, to have joy, to serve, to make money even.

I've just reduced by half by 2/3.

Depends on how much I ruminate, right?

I've just reduced my use in the world.

If I forgive, and that means to completely clear my heart of any effect of that and let justice belong where it belongs, not with me.

And then I love myself, forgive myself.

If I had any part to do and forgive myself for judging myself in any of the thousand ways that might be part of that, then I'm feeding the white wolf.

I become clean, I become empty of negativity and I can fill me up with love and positivity and then I become a beacon of light.

Now, I want you to take a minute to think about something that you're still hanging onto.

Some negative thing.

Person, illness, unfairness, injustice, rip off, betrayal, abuse.

I want you to think of that something that's still renting space in your head and ask yourself a question.

What would happen?

What would your life be like if that was completely gone?

If you never thought about it again, if it were empty, There was no resentment, negativity, fear, bitterness, anger or hate or any of that stuff?

If that was gone, what would your life be like?

That's a really important question.

Now, I didn't talk about how to do that, but just if it were gone and all the space and emotional memories and triggers and PTSD and CPTSD and complex, all the acronyms, that was all gone.

Now if you're like most people, that is.

It's almost a breathtaking sense of liberation and freedom.

And it's like, well, then I could.

Well, since you know that, isn't it worth it to do whatever you need to do to clear out that space?

Because when I stay angry, frustrated, hurt, fearful, or hate, in hatred towards someone else, all I've done is hurt me.

They're no longer hurt.

They don't even know.

What people do know is that that's who I'm being energetically.

And so it just reduces my ability, your ability to make money, to be of service, to love, to live in joy.

I mean, the purpose of this podcast is creating a life of purpose, prosperity and joy.

So I want to talk a little bit about how to do that, because that process was a big deal for me.

I had a ton of forgiveness for myself because I made lots of mistakes, a lot of forgiveness for others.

It doesn't matter who they were, people that I felt wronged by, people that I had wronged, and I felt angry and frustrated at myself.

So a great mountain of self forgiveness and a great mountain of resentment, negativity toward others, and it was consuming my Life a little or a lot, sometimes so much that I turned to numbing and, you know, substances and things to stop hurting.

And as that went away, my heart opened.

My ability to.

To get and then give love and light went way up until today.

As I record this for you, and it's been this way for the last few years, I no longer carry any negative emotion toward anyone.

And the.

The.

The rule that I have for me is I forgive everyone, everything, all the time.

I have compassion, grace, and patience for everyone, for everything, including myself.

Not as an excuse to do stupid stuff or an excuse because someone else did stupid or hurtful stuff, but because I refuse to be bogged down, burdened down, held down, glued down, chained down to those negative things.

When they happen, I experience them.

I ask, what can I learn from this?

And then I let it go.

And that means my plate is always clear.

Now, learning to do that was powerful and important for me because before I did, it wrecked my life.

So I wrote a book about that called Forgiveness.

Not surprisingly, Forgiveness A Journey of Courage to a Place of Freedom and Power.

That's one of 20 books that I've written, and I'm working on number 21.

What's also come to me in these processes of writing books and doing all this stuff is the realization that because you're a divine being, remember the whole point here is if you knew, if you really knew, like hardcore to the bottom, not some intellectual idea, but if you knew that you were a king or a queen, you were Aragorn, you were a divine holy child of God that's going through shit and all kinds of difficulties, but you still are that.

And that were the place you acted from and believed from and, you know, created from all the time.

There's no limit to what you can do.

What we do is we get stuck in the injustice and the PTSD or the pain or the trauma that's been inflicted on us, and we own that, and we live in it and we swim in it instead of cleaning the plate.

And I.

One of the most popular YouTube videos I've done is one on forgiveness.

It's got hundreds of thousands of views, and it talks about how to forgive yourself when you've hurt someone you love.

And one of the most frequent comments is, I can never forgive myself.

Well, that's a story because you can.

You can't justify what you did, you can't pretend you didn't, and you can't decide whether that other person's going to get over their own hurt.

But that isn't Yours to fix any more than the hurt you have from the actions of others.

Right?

Is theirs to fix.

The hurt you have or that I have is mine to fix and yours to fix.

And as long as someone says I can never forgive myself, what you're really telling me is I refuse to change.

I refuse to let this go.

I'm going to beat myself to death with it forever.

You're free to do that, but it just means that me and you, we're not worth anywhere near as much as we could be.

We can't add good to the world and create purpose, prosperity and joy.

See, creating this ultimate life I talk about all the time, purpose, prosperity and joy.

It's 100% dependent on forgiveness, forgiving yourself, and forgiving others.

Because as long as I'm carrying negativity, hatred, bitterness, pain, etc.

Etc.

I am limiting myself substantially in terms of what I can create and who I am in the world.

So one of the things that comes up in this conversation is a phrase that I used to use.

And I know this phrase because I use.

I myself used it about me and it was, I'm nothing.

I'm nobody.

I'm no good.

They were all right, know people that were angry at me or the root of all evil.

That sort of comment either mildly or furiously said.

And as long as I carried that around, I was powerless to do good, or what I could do was a fraction, an empty shell of what was possible.

So here's an invitation for you.

You matter, I promise.

You matter.

I don't care what has come before.

I didn't start my changes until I was 52 years old.

I didn't start really going into this work until I was 17 and a half years ago.

I'm 69.

I'll be 70 this year.

So when I was 52, I finally realized I control this doesn't matter what anybody else did or didn't do, what they did or didn't apologize for or make amends for or whatever.

None of that matters.

I am going to take control of my life.

And that's what I mean by asking if you knew who you were.

So if you knew you were a divine being and you had the power to eliminate all this feeling, all this negativity, all this pain, all this ptsd, all this struggle, all this hate towards yourself or others, if you knew you could get rid of that and you believed it to the core, you do it in a heartbeat.

So my challenge to you is to hear me.

You're a divine being.

You have Godly DNA in you that isn't going to do itself.

At least my discovery is.

It's not a snap of the fingers.

I had to get a lot of help, so counselors and coaches and books.

But the biggest thing was just to start with the idea that I'm divine.

I am.

And you know, a fable that I told myself before is, I've made so many mistakes that I can never fix it.

It can never be okay.

There's nothing in all holy literature that says such a thing.

And if you go inside yourself in meditation and listen to your own inspiration, you will know that's not true.

God loves me.

And you, no matter where you've been or what's happened before, you're valuable.

And what I know from my own experience is the divine will do anything that he can to rescue us.

Anything that he can to rescue us.

But we have to cooperate.

We have to allow the change to take place.

And, boy, that was, you know, that was painful for me to allow that because I was so used to the idea of hating myself.

I was so connected to the feeling of suffering and being worthless and believing all the stuff that my own inner voice and others were telling me.

So here's the thing.

You are an eternal being.

You came from somewhere.

You're here having an experience.

And I don't care what the experiences have been before.

Now, you matter.

You matter now.

And you can have a gigantic impact if you want to.

And requirement number one is to understand your own divinity.

And then this forgiveness thing, use that power to clean your plate so you're not carrying around this old baggage.

Now, I wrote that book, Forgiveness, so there, listen.

A forgiveness, a journey of courage to a place of freedom and power.

Because that's my experience, and I've helped and seen others do that, too.

But whether you use my book or the Hawaiian process of hooponopono or whatever it is, emptying your heart of the hateful, hurtful, negative energy is essential.

So you're divine.

You matter.

Nothing is beyond your reach, and nothing's going to do it for us.

We got to say game on.

Game on.

I didn't have the courage to say that for most of my adult life until I was 52, as I mentioned, I was living a hollow script of doing what I thought I was, quote, supposed to do.

And it was hollow and empty and painful.

And I failed.

And it led me to dark places and drugs and suicide attempts and all kinds of stuff.

Stuff when I finally took control of my own sovereign being and said, who am I before God?

Before my creator and I started writing those things down, ignoring everyone else, making choices about what I want to do, the being that I want to present to my creator, right, that was a game changer for me because no amount of excuse is going to come out that comes out of my mouth is going to change anything there, right?

When I stand before the creator or you do, we're going to be what we've made of ourselves.

That's it.

No excuses, no nonsense.

It's going to be blindingly obvious.

At first, that scared the crap out of me.

Then as I realized, and I get to choose that and I get to create that, then it became joyful and I became just absolutely devoted to cleaning up who I was, becoming a person of my word, committing, you know, to making whatever necessary changes were so that I was proud of, satisfied with and happy with who I was and where it's led me.

And this is the.

The line, the last thing here.

It's led me to where my goal this year is to reach 300 million people.

With what?

With the message of your divinity.

With the assurance that no matter where you are, you matter now.

With the assurance that it's never too late.

With the assurance that you have gifts and talents.

With the assurance that that feeling in your heart about helping people and changing the world is real.

And you can.

And it's time to start now.

I can give you a last invitation, and that is if I can help you in some way.

I'm in.

I'm in.

Reach out.

I won't know that by reading your mind.

There's some URLs on the screen.

Kellenfluekigermedia.com that's on there twice.

Go there.

There's a contact form.

Let's talk.

Share this podcast with someone.

Maybe you're all perfect on this.

And if you are, share it with someone who needs to hear the message of worth, of encouragement, of power, of joy, of the ultimate life.

I live every single day in more joy than I know what to do.

And that's from a person who used to live at the bottom of the canyon, figuratively, you know, addicted and suicidal and on and on and on.

And if I can walk up that canyon and I didn't do it alone, I had to have a lot of help.

You can, too.

With the right help, I can tell you it's possible.

I love you.

You deserve to have a life of purpose, prosperity and joy, or whatever words work for you.

And you deserve to live every day and fully participate in your ultimate life.

Right here.

Right now.

Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.

Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.

If you want to know more, go to kellenflukermedia.com if you want more free tools, go here.

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