Unlock Your Inner Badass: Marta Czajkowska on Courageous Living

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Hello, and welcome to this episode of your ultimate life podcast that's dedicated to helping you create a life of purpose, prosperity, and joy.

And do that by serving with the gifts that you have, your life experience, and the skills you've developed.

Today, I'm excited to have a special guest, Marta Tchaikovska.

And I had to ask her how to say that, like Fluker.

You know, when you have a name like mine, while you pay attention to that sort of stuff.

Welcome to the show, Marta.

Yay.

Great to be here.

And well done on that last name.

That was a plus.

Well, you know, I.

People do that to me all the time, and I've been spelling it my whole life, as you have.

So rather than give some kind of an introduction, I don't usually do that.

What I'd like to start with is I'm going to ask you a question, and I just like you to answer it honestly and not try to be modest or anything.

Tell me how Martha adds good to the world.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I have spent my whole life in deep connection with nature, and not just nature, but in, you know, adventure sports.

And tops of mountains and sides of mountains.

It's been.

It's been almost 30 years of me doing this, and I have so much intimacy with this that when I work, when I just am in the world, not even work in the world, when.

I am in the world, I get.

To be a conduit of that for the people who are interested in having a experience in nature and for those who might not even know that there might be some value there for them.

So, you know, I live and live and breathe rock climbing and adventure, and that's where I.

I'm a life coach.

That's where I take my clients.

And on the journey to the mountain.

A lot of great value gets created for them.

A lot of transformation gets created, and in turn, that serves the world even more powerfully.

So when transformation happens, you know, we.

That's life coach speak and that sort of stuff, and that's fine.

What does that happen?

So we're.

We're driving or we're hiking or we're walking toward a mountain or a place that we're going to go in nature and have an experience.

And if you're a conduit, I have a.

I Love that word.

I say, a beacon of light, vessel of love and conduit of power is a phrase that I use a lot.

When you said conduit, I'm thinking, okay, so you step out of the car and into nature and all of a sudden you glow because there's a conduit of something.

But anyway, this transformation that happens on the way there, tell me a little more about that.

Transformed from what to what?

Like what is that?

Yeah, I think the best way to talk about it is on examples.

Just giving some examples.

So a client, right?

We're in, I'm with a client on a training expedition for this bigger goal.

That they have later.

And as we are planning, as we're.

Not yet in nature, but as we're planning our expedition, our day, the next day, I say, oh, we're gonna have.

To be there for around 10 hours.

And my client goes, but I've never.

Been out in nature for more than five hours.

It's impossible for me to be out there for 10 hours.

Right.

And so things like that in the work that I do get illuminated, right?

So sure enough, next day we go.

Out there and right around the five hour mark, this person starts having a.

Transformation of what their capacity is.

They thought they can only do five hours and now it's been six, seven, eight hours.

That.

Capacity that they just found out.

About themselves, they'll be able to remember that and then some other situation with.

Their children, with their spouse, at their.

Work, they're going to be able to apply that.

Oh, I can do so much more.

Than I thought I did.

Because right on that mountain, it was.

In my body that I felt that.

It was okay and I did it.

It's a fabulous example.

So it's coming up against some perceived barrier, finding out additional capacity, strength, tools, understanding that you had or sort of had or was camouflaged or covered is revealed or brought into to place and that's transferable to other situations.

Well, so often, yeah.

And so often we don't even know we have them.

She didn't ever, he didn't ever think that five hours is the hard boundary.

That was just unconscious belief they had about themselves.

Right.

So to catch someone, to be there with someone when that, when that gets.

Touched.

Is an incredible moment that, you know, I think I can change the world moment by moment.

Yeah, you do.

Yeah, you do.

I mean, change, change isn't usually, in fact, very seldom is.

You know, in, in large groups, it's usually in smaller groups, it can happen larger.

So, so that's a fabulous Example, how did you, how did you decide?

Like you said, you've been doing this sports stuff for 30 years and maybe longer in terms of learning and everything else.

So I don't, I don't know.

Did you start out with the idea that it was going to be some kind of a tool you used to transform others and be coaching, or was it just because you like sports and rocks and nature and that kind of stuff?

Yeah, no, I mean, you know, as a, starting from the beginning, As a anxious 15 year old, my parents got.

A divorce, my, my world fell apart.

And climbing came into my life.

So it was basically like drugs or climbing.

Right, right, right.

One of those sort of souls decisions.

That we sometimes are shown.

And so I went with climbing and that shaped, you know, my life hugely.

I grew up in communist Poland and climbing got me out of there.

I followed my passion for climbing all.

Over the world mostly to run away.

From at that time, what I thought.

Was running away from the life that was there for me.

And only about 20 years into it.

I started feeling that that's good and great.

But I remember a moment I was in Tasmania on a climbing trip and I was kind of sitting there going.

This is kind of boring.

It was like, oh, there is something.

More for me other than just following, you know, climbing rocks around the world.

And that's where the, I had a therapist at the time and she, she.

Said, well, that's great.

You're finding this, you know, lull.

That means we're finally ready to take.

Up your life's purpose to help others.

On the, on their journey.

And when she said that I, I wanted to.

If I wasn't a people pleaser at the time, I would have stormed out of the room.

I was like, how dare you giving me hope that I can be of help.

And that really made me think like.

Oh, I really, really, I really desire.

To be in service.

I desire it more than anything.

So isn't it funny that the, the reaction was how dare you say that?

Yet it made you realize that that's what you wanted more than anything.

Talk a little bit about that because that's a really interesting juxtaposition.

Well, when she said it, my unworthiness that I felt at the time spoke.

Up, said I, I have kept myself small for so long, I could never be big and a bright light in the world.

So that's the part that, that wanted to, you know, hide and, and you.

Know, the, the calling in me was.

So strong that the resonance of yes.

I want to serve.

And so the, the protection of, you know, from my upbringing from all this stuff.

The protection was also very strong.

You know, that's funny because I.

One of many, many, many transformational things I had was a three or four hour walk that I did, and I ended up with a dialogue of people on my stage, and I was sort of the narrator.

And the people that showed up on the stage were the creative, the obsessive, and the protector.

And I created those names just by.

On the basis of the dialogue that was happening on the stage that I was sort of moderating.

And there's a whole story about that, and I use it to teach something really valuable that I won't do right now.

But it.

I called it the Protector because it was behaving just like you talked.

And the foundational piece is finally, after a bunch of conversation and a bunch of stuff happened, I said, what are you protecting me from?

And the answer just shocked the daylights out of me.

It says, well, I'm protecting you from being nothing by doing nothing.

And I had to sit with that for like a couple of days to figure out the truth, the profundity and the depth of that because of all it meant.

But anyway, so that's what it reminded me of.

So then you had that awakening that said, gee, now you can find your life's mission, which you both objected to and embraced.

What happened after that?

Yeah, I took about a year resisting it.

I actually called a friend who's a.

Life coach and said, hey, how do you do this life coaching stuff?

I need to know.

And he said, well, make an appointment and I'll.

I'll tell you all the things.

And then it took me one year to make that appointment.

So that shows that the protector was.

Up there in the, in the, in your face.

Right?

The predictor was definitely active.

And then this was 2018.

When I finally called him on that call with him, I was 100% in.

I was like, okay, this is my life's calling.

I am doing this.

I will never quit.

I have no idea what that's going to look like.

But I.

I don't know.

I found home.

I found myself.

The.

The feeling was so strong of resonance.

And.

But I had no idea where to.

Start, obviously, like, how do you actually do this?

Right.

One thing is that, you know, I'm gonna do this.

And then.

So I spent a few years just gathering skills for coaching skills, learning how to, how to work with people and working with them.

I had clients right away.

And then I really thought I would.

Do a lot of Nature stuff right.

Away, and then nobody was interested in that.

I was gonna take people on hikes.

And people just wanted to do zoom calls.

And I just kind of let it be what it was until maybe two years ago.

That nature thing came back and came back very strongly.

And that's when I started having clients interested in saying, hey, I want to.

Do the climbing stuff.

So I just assumed, you know, the universe works in the ways where I needed to gather my coaching skills so that I can, you know, do that well and then ramp it up because.

Things are very different, especially in high mountains.

There's many risks and things happen very quickly.

So I've been noticing that the skills.

I've gathered, I'm using them and I'm learning a lot more right now.

Yeah.

So that's fascinating and I love it.

You said something a little bit ago that I think is really important.

You said in doing this or now or in this present situation.

And it was.

Didn't just happen now, but a while ago.

It's more important or better or somehow a superlive better than anything else in the universe I ever did.

Sort of the feeling that I got from that.

I want you to talk about that because I want to go into this idea of life purpose and that sort of jazz.

But what did you mean when you said, this is the best thing I ever did in the whole universe?

Yeah, I mean, that feeling is it.

It's like, oh, my God, it's like.

The best feeling ever.

And by the way, I had that.

Feeling when I was 15 and I.

Started climbing as well.

I was like, this is it.

This is it, right?

I'm creative, I'm open, I'm vibrant, I am curious, I am humble, I am loving all of that.

All in that that's the meaning that.

That activity brought to me.

And so, you know, I, I, I.

The way I look at it is that my desire that's aligned with universal desire, or my desire aligns with the universal desire.

And then it's not just me, it's some.

I'm creating this big funnel where something can flow through me.

So isn't that interesting?

We do that when those in infinite ideas and feelings come.

We scrounge around for words.

You know, you said, I'm creative, I'm open, I'm this, that, and the other.

You said all this stuff and you know, the truth of that is we can't forgot what.

What it is.

And so we, we scrounge all these words that we have that are both superlative and extraordinary and Light and love filled and everything else.

And, you know, those are words from a spiritual place that we just don't have language for.

Absolutely.

So.

So that's magnificent.

The name of this podcast is your ultimate life.

And the idea is, and you know, I, I live that and claim it and claim people can have it.

You can have a life of purpose, prosperity, and joy, which includes the money that everybody worries so much about and purpose and joy by.

And you can have it best by finding and developing this meaning and purpose.

And again, we're using words that are the best ones that we've got in our lives.

Talk a little bit about that, about your life and your relationship to living.

And you can use different words than purpose, prosperity, and joy, but your version of ultimate life.

Yeah, I mean, I really never thought it was possible.

First of all, growing up in a very suppressed place with everybody that I knew lived very small lives.

And when I look at it now from the place where I am prosperous.

I'm serving the world, doing what I.

Love, and I'm making good money.

Right.

So I'm in the place where I'll go, holy.

That's what happens.

That's what I truly believe.

It happened because I took these courageous.

Difficult, and aligned choices in my life to follow when I, you know, when I was 15 and I was leaving Poland to go rock climbing and everybody.

Said, don't do it, it's dangerous.

How are you going to live?

Right?

Or when I was in my 30s and I decided to be a life.

Coach, and everybody, including my mom and.

My friends, said, how are you going.

To be a life coach?

You're going to be broke, right?

These moments will say, no, I know what I'm doing.

I have a deep resonance and I.

Am committed to it.

It, it re.

Yeah, it's a weird word.

I, I, I get to.

Align with that universal energy.

And there's no other, like, there's no place like it.

You use three words, courageous, difficult, aligned, in describing the choices.

You got to have it because you made these courageous, difficult, and aligned choices to allow that to flow through you and to be in alignment.

I want to talk about that.

And they may be the perfect words or not, it doesn't matter, but let's just use that.

How does a person like the listeners to the podcast, they want this.

People want to, they want to live the ultimate life.

They want to be happy every day.

They want to feel like they matter and mean something, and they want that to be able to turn into a good living and you make a difference in the world and all that jazz.

So how does a person identify courageous, difficult, aligned choices?

Well, difficult is a.

They will be difficult, courageous and aligned choices.

How do you identify courageous and aligned choices?

So teach here for a minute about finding courageous and aligned choices.

We'll talk about how to do them in a minute.

But how do you find those choices?

It.

There's a level of listening, body listening.

There's a level of knowingness that we.

All have that for many of us has been different levels covered up or silenced, different societal constructs, different family constructs.

I call that protections.

Protections is what comes and covers it up.

The.

The one in me that said, how dare you give me hope?

That was a protection.

So if we're able to recognize our.

Protections for what they are, but listen.

From a deeper place, we.

We will.

We will have body resonance.

Or some people say, like a full body.

Yes.

Like when we fall in love.

That's a full body.

Yes.

That feeling is similar.

Similar if we let it be.

And I think we all have access to it if we don't stand in our way.

And that comes from knowing ourselves.

What are the protections?

Like you said, the critic, the judge.

What are those characters and how could.

They get in the way of us listening?

Most people, and you know this, most people just sort of go through life reactively, doing whatever is handy in the moment.

And they, you know, they get up and do whatever there is to do and then go to work, watch TV and do whatever there is and go to bed and do it all over again for 20 years or 50 or their whole life.

What are the symptoms or signs in someone's when they're facing this sort of.

What often shows up as a duality, a deeper feeling that I ought to do something.

And then the fear of it that's coming from those protections.

How do I become more sensitive and begin to do the deeper listening that you're referring to?

Yeah.

Of all those people, you know, I.

Haven'T met all the people that sit.

In front of the tv, but I've talked to enough and sit in front of the tv.

To me, that's a protection.

Life is difficult.

I don't know what to do with it.

I'm going to numb out and stay small.

Right.

We have all done it.

We have all done it.

I've done it.

I'm sure you have done it.

So there's no fault in that.

But anyone I've ever spoken to, even if they sit in front of the TV all day long, at some point.

In their life, they've had a desire.

They wanted to do something, they wanted.

To go and sing.

They wanted to have a business selling dog treats, whatever, right?

And they let there some sort of voice in them say, hey, don't do it, that's dangerous.

Don't do it, don't do it.

My little sister, she's 24, she, she.

Doesn'T have any money, she lives in Poland.

And she goes, I want to go.

To la, to Los Angeles to become a film producer.

And her sister, her other sister says.

Oh my God, that's gonna be so hard.

How are you gonna do it?

You don't have any money, right?

That's what happens to most of us, right?

As opposed to when she calls me.

I, I tell her, dude, it's going to be the hardest thing you'll ever do, and it's going to be the.

Most worst thing that you'll ever do.

Your life will never be the same.

So to all of us that have been in front of the tv, it's, it's having.

Listening to that voice and giving it a chance and saying, okay, I'm gonna let it, I'm gonna let it.

I'm gonna, that's what I'm saying.

Courageous, right?

It's courageous to leave, for my sister to leave her mom's house and get.

On the plane with $200 and go.

I'm gonna make it in Hollywood, right?

Yes, yes.

So I'm hearing is okay, everybody's felt that.

And I, I, you know, you can hear people nodding.

Everyone has felt that yearning, that tug and so forth.

And everyone has felt the voices and whether they, whatever they use to say no, whether it's somebody else or something else, to push it away and put it in the background.

So then what I'm hearing you say is the first step is stop beating it down.

Just listen, sit with it, turn off the distractions and be with that and explore it more, listen to it more.

Let it get louder and participate with it in your, in your heart and explore it.

Is that, is that what you're saying.

Is the first thing to do?

And I think the, the big part.

That we might have been conditioned out.

Of is that, you know, in religions and in different societies, desire is bad.

If you want something, it's a desire, and desire is bad.

Right?

So we, so we are carrying that burden and to, to try on an.

Idea that desire is a good thing.

What if my desire and what I.

Want is a good thing?

Right?

And, and I would start in your living room and say, turn off the tv.

Turn off all of everything.

Turn off everything.

Silence your phone.

Sit there and see if there is.

Any true desire that comes up.

And maybe it is to take a bath.

Great.

Do it.

You are learning the first steps on how to listen to yourself.

Oh, my desire is.

I want to write a limerick.

Great.

Right, Right.

It's.

You are, you're learning to listen and.

You'Re learning to trust that what you're.

Doing is not evil.

It's not an evil desire that will destroy your life.

And, and I think as we learn.

To respond to the desire.

We'Re.

We get better at it and we get to do bigger and bigger things.

So I love that.

I try on the idea that you are inherently divine, that the desires and skills that you have are inherently valuable and inherently good.

And that doesn't mean we don't have stupid desires.

But try on the idea that the one, you know the difference, you might be a good one.

You're scared of it.

That's not the same as a bad.

A bad.

Okay, so use that innate intelligence to do what?

Exactly what you said.

Try them on, explore them.

And I love it.

What you said.

Develop your ability to listen.

Fine tune your antenna and then begin to trust and act on those.

And that's something you can do right now, today, tomorrow, this week.

It's not like, well, I got to work on that for two years.

No, you'll know in a day or two.

A week, you know, couple of weeks.

Then the question is going to be now what do I do with this?

It's starting to grow.

I've given it a place to, you know, some dirt and I'm keeping it growing now and I'm watering it, you know, it's starting to grow in me and then it can become scary.

So, you know, oh, no, I gotta do something with this.

You'll get the hoe and pull it out right now.

And I had a whole story about that for some other day.

But anyway, so I love that.

So then people get stuck with that.

They have the idea that they're feeling that and they have at different times in their life, sometimes young, sometimes old, sometimes both.

And then they don't go get the kind of miracle, grow fuel, food, opportunity, space, permission from themselves or circumstance.

So what do you do then?

Where does it, where does it become so important to go get, if you're not in a good circumstance, to go be in one, to give yourself the permission, the encouragement, examples that you need to actually pursue that thing or things that's growing?

Yeah.

I think one of the, at least.

For myself, and I see this with my clients on the mountain is one.

Of the biggest detractors, is the need.

For certainty or control.

Okay, we're going to climb this mountain.

That means we're going to be there at this time and then we're going to be down.

And so when we start opening desires.

All of the sudden we don't know.

How to have certainty, right?

You have your salary and now you start writing limericks.

You don't know how you're going to.

Make your living, right?

And so very, very often that need for certainty and control, certainty, I think, is a need.

So what we do about it is we try to control.

That's what's really in our way.

I'm so glad you're asking this, because.

I think it's such an important part.

Of this whole process is that our limited understanding in this moment of who we are cannot possibly conjure up.

Where are we going to be once we.

Step into our desire.

So there is a piece of surrendering into.

Okay, I'm going to trust that if I do this thing and let it flow through me and I'm going to act on it, because we have to act.

If we don't act, it's a great fantasy, then something new will open.

The analogy I have is everybody's traveled.

And so imagine you're going to.

Imagine you're going to, let's say, Ethiopia.

Imagine you're traveling to Ethiopia in a week.

You can imagine what Ethiopia looks like.

You can watch videos, you can read books, but you will never actually access.

The feeling for what it's like to.

Be in Ethiopia unless you're there because.

You just don't have enough information.

Right?

And so it's the same here.

Know that once you let the desire.

Flow that you will have access to a array of different things that you could have never imagined before, right?

So you can't solve for them now.

Because they're going to be so much different, right?

I love that you can't solve for it now.

And you actually have no idea what's going to happen next.

And.

And you can't have any idea what's going to happen next because the only frame of reference you have is the limited viewpoint that you've had before.

And from that place, you can't even see.

It's like looking through a keyhole.

You have no idea what's going to happen when you open the door.

And you can't have any idea no matter how many times you.

How many different ways you try to look through the keyhole.

So there are a thousand things we could do digging into this.

I want to make sure that.

And.

And I want people to be able to find you, to learn about you.

I didn't ask.

Have you.

Are.

Are you active on social?

Have you written a book or two or ten?

Like, what do you do or have you done so that people can, you know, go swim in your pond?

Yeah.

Thanks for asking.

Yeah.

So my company is called Masters of Pond Badassery.

People get to come and get their.

Enroll and get their masters in badassery by climbing mountains.

If.

If you're not into climbing mountains.

I have a weekly group.

It's a.

It's a group, and it's a group coaching container that's really affordable.

And we talk about all the great.

Things, desires and control and surrender and many, many other things.

So that happens weekly, and everybody's welcome to join that container.

Mastersofbadassery.com Is that correct?

Cool.

So go there.

Like, if you don't need.

If you don't do anything except go there and look at it and see.

Because who doesn't want to be a master of badassery?

And if you can't tell from listening to Marta talk here that she's a master of badassery, in fact, PhD, obviously, then.

Then you're not paying attention.

So as we get done here, I need you to tell me what.

What did we not do?

Well, there's a million things.

We can only do this much in 30 minutes, but what did we not talk about that was just like trying to fall out of your mouth and off your lips?

Yeah.

I would like to share my big mission that I have in my life.

I.

When I was a young climber, I.

Was in Yosemite Valley.

I was inspired by just the nature and the beauty and the fact that.

Governments created such thing as national parks to protect these places.

And so the story behind it is.

That a humble shepherd named John Muir.

Invited Theodore Roosevelt to come and spend.

A few days with him in the.

Wilderness so that he can develop intimacy.

And reverence for nature.

And so Roosevelt came, spent some days.

With some shepherd guy in the woods.

And now United States has all these national parks thanks to that.

And so my big mission is to bring that intimacy and reverence for nature to people that make legislation and have power in protecting nature.

So any.

Anyone out there who is interested and.

Can make some big decisions, come over.

And I'll take you for some hikes and we'll start having a conversation about it.

Fabulous.

Well, that's one of the most important ways you're adding good to the world.

So I'm glad I asked that.

So what else didn't we talk about that's exploding from your heart?

I have a story I wanted to share.

Do we have time?

Yeah, I.

I wanted to.

For those who are sitting on the.

Couch and they have a desire to.

Do something and they're very uncertain on.

How to start, I actually wanted to.

Share a story from my life that.

Has been very impactful.

So when I first came to United.

States, I was 18, completely broke, and I was gonna go and climb this big mountain.

And I didn't have enough money for boss or anything, and so I was hitchhiking everywhere, and one day I get picked up, picked up by this guy, and he's asking me what I'm doing.

I'm telling him my big mission.

I'm here from Poland.

I'm gonna climb El Capitan.

And he takes me to work.

He actually goes out of his way to take me to work, and he.

I'm about to leave the car, and.

He goes, you know what?

You have really cool dreams.

And he hands me a wad of.

Cash, and I just take it and run and say thank you.

And so this man gave me.

18 year old, gave me $4,000 from a hitchhiking ride.

And the $4,000 that he gave me took me for a whole year to South America.

I climbed many, many, many more mountains.

Than the one I wanted to climb.

And he.

He literally changed my life.

Now, could I have known this when.

I was leaving Poland that some dude.

In the car is going to give me?

Right.

Not at all possible.

So, you know, this was this huge foundational story that.

That allowed me to trust in the.

Universe, having my back, and showed me.

That the power of my vision, even as an 18 year old, was compelling.

For someone to want to help.

And so now we have this thing.

I have this wealthy person who I know who heard this story and heard about my sister and decided, oh, I want to continue this tradition and donated $4,000 to my sister's, you know, college fund.

And so this is just something that.

I want to keep on going.

And if I find someone with really.

Cool dreams, give me a call.

And I have $4,000 here waiting for you.

Well, see, I'm glad I asked.

So you ask again.

Is there anything else that's exploding from your heart that we need to put on here at the end?

Oh, I think no.

I think that feels complete.

Marta, I want to thank you for being on our show today, I am delighted to be in your presence and to hear your passion, your story, your intention, your focus.

And again, substituting available words for a feeling we can't describe.

Thank you for who you're being and how you're showing up in the world.

Thank you for this beautiful conversation and.

Yeah, pulling out these stories, that's great.

So, folks, I want you to listen to this a couple of times because, you know, you hear things, rags to riches and impossible stuff happen.

And there's a couple of examples, several in her life.

And I'm sure that she creates with that kind of energy that for her folks, clients and others that she's with.

So I have tons of stories, but you've heard all those on other episodes.

What I can tell you for sure is that this extraordinary possibility is available for you.

And if you want to follow your intuition, fine tune it.

Learn to do it.

You can go forward, follow those dreams and create your ultimate life.

Never ask why.

Open your heart.

And this time around, right here, right.

Now, your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.

Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.

If you want to know more, go to kellenfluker media.com if you want more free tools, go here YourUltimateLife CA Subscribe Share.