The Myth of Productivity: Why Taking Breaks Fuels Your Success

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Welcome to your ultimate life.

You know, I say that every episode, and I wonder sometimes more strongly than others.

But I'm wondering today, what does that mean when you hear that I say, welcome to your ultimate life?

Is it hype?

Is it noise?

Is it just an irritating thing?

Have I said it so often it's like, yeah, whatever.

Like, what does it actually mean, if anything, to you?

Welcome to your ultimate life.

You're living the life you create.

That may be offensive, or you may just know that to the core.

You may know it to the core and feel like you can't do anything about it.

You may know it to the core and be completely satisfied with it.

You may know it to the core and just feel this yearning and wanting to change.

Or you may be completely resigned.

You may have some learned helplessness, which we talked about a dozen episodes ago.

You know, the idea that we've just learned conceptually that we're helpless.

We're not, but we learn that, and so we act like it, or victim mindset, or any of the other things we've talked about.

The reason that I say it is I want to remind you every single episode of three things.

One, you create the life that you have.

So do I.

I create mine.

And we create it by what we believe is possible, what we believe is happening right now, the meaning we attach to things and the commitment we have to create.

Okay?

So I want you to think about it.

Whether you hate your life, you love it, or you're tolerating it, or you just kind of hanging out, you create your life.

And I say, welcome to your ultimate life because I want to remind you that you have the ability to create right?

What you are, what you believe about your possibility is so critical.

And that's why, you know, we've done these eight episodes, this is the eighth of eight on fear and how that the different manifestations of subtle or big fears get in the way of you and me creating life that we love.

Remember these three things.

What do you believe about the life you have?

Do you believe it's as good as it gets?

Do you believe that you fully control how you feel about it?

What is your commitment to creating a life you love every day?

And if you do love the life you have every day, you've already, you know, talked about this with yourself and made the personal changes.

And so you are being a person who loves their life every day.

Like this morning I woke up, I was so excited to get up.

It's funny because I'm in right in the middle of a 10 day course of antibiotics for this great big bump I have below my kneecap.

And the doctor looked at it and it's, you know, it's clearly an infection, potentially serious.

And he was weighing whether or not he ought to send me to the hospital to get it drained and analyzed for what the infection was.

We decided to run a course of pretty heavy duty antibiotics.

I don't remember the name of.

It's not vancomycin, you know, that's the IV antibiotic of last resort.

But it's just a couple cuts below that.

And Joy looked it up and said, yeah, that's a good one.

So we're going to run a 10 day course of that and if it doesn't get better, then I'm going to have to go to the hospital and do that.

So I tell you that not poor Kellen.

It's just a thing that's happening.

But I want you to understand that even in that I woke up this morning in love with you, in love with my life, in love with this background I have here with the camera, the microphone, the computer, the books that I have, the songs that I'm doing, the clients that I serve, the people I get to meet.

You know what?

I just met a guy just about an hour ago.

I never, never didn't know him.

He lives in New York.

He runs six shows.

One of them is about business, one is about emerging heroes, one is, I can't remember them all.

And he found me on Pod Match, which is a pod matching platform, podcast matcher, you know, platform where you meet people who either looking for guests or looking to be guests, and we're both.

I look for guests and I look to be guests on other people's shows.

And earlier this week I was on a show with about 800 coaches and he, it turns out, has six shows.

Wow, what a blessing.

I just got off the phone, like I said, a Google Meet with him and he is all in, in doing the work that he does to add good to the world.

I was so excited.

I asked him, well, do you want to be a guest on my shows?

So I look for guests, I look to be a guest.

Why?

Why would I do that?

It's part of my ultimate life.

It's part of the life I'm creating.

That I love.

And so everything that I do, every guest that I have, every episode that we do, these eight episodes on how fear gets in the way, all of our way, all of these are designed to give you the frameworks, the tools, examples, encouragement, energy, and sometimes permission to be your full on, unadorned, authentic self.

To add good to the world, to show up all in.

Like, if you show up half assed for your life, why, that'd be like an Olympian showing up in Paris a couple months ago, half baked.

Well, you know, I'm kind of ready.

Yeah, whatever.

Said no Olympian ever, right?

Yet we do that with our lives day after day.

Yeah.

Get up.

I don't feel good today.

Oh, I got all this stuff to do.

Can I hit snooze nine more times?

Oh, crap, I'm going to be late for this or that.

You know what?

Your life is all there is.

This is your Olympic event.

And here's what I mean by that.

You get one time through.

Every single day matters because it shapes what's coming.

It shapes the next day.

It shapes the opportunities that come.

Now, I just talked to this fellow and it turns out he has six shows.

If I had showed up in that conversation scared or worried or distracted or whatever, I don't know, you know, yeah, you know, I'm a coach, I do some stuff, wrote a couple books, whatever, then I would have changed what came out of the conversation.

Instead, I showed up loving him, grateful for everything he's doing, excited about the connection.

And now I get to be on six shows with whatever size audience there are.

It doesn't matter because my goal to get to 250 million includes all the ways I can get to them.

And what do I mean, get to them?

I mean get to them to encourage you to live your ultimate life, to own it, to treat it like your Olympic event.

And I get a guest on each of my shows.

So I've got two and he's got six.

I get the good end of that trade, so.

But the only reason that happened is because what I did, my morning routine, I prepared myself to be all in today.

And I'm living hour to hour, day to day, my ultimate life in a little while.

In about an hour, I get to go to Veronica's school, my Ukrainian granddaughter, she calls me your Canadian grandpa.

Okay, cool.

So I get to go to my Canadian or my Ukrainian granddaughter's school.

She's in fourth grade and I get to read to the class.

How fun.

So I get to go do a little project and that'll be Fun.

And I love that.

And I love everything about everything that I do.

But that's by choice.

I eliminated everything I didn't want to do.

Or I changed my attitude.

What you mean I can change my attitude from stuff I don't want to do to make it so I love it?

Yeah, you really can.

And that's one of the secrets.

Like, is there anything in your life that you hate that you're doing anyway?

Why?

Either get rid of it or make a choice to love it.

You're spending your only resource, your time in it.

Once you spend a second or a minute or an hour, it's gone.

I have made a commitment and I invite you to do the same.

To spend every one of my minutes and hours the very best I can.

Why?

Because they're precious.

You know, we get 4,000 weeks if we live 80 years.

There's a book by that name, fun book to read.

A little dark for my taste.

A little dark in terms of a little on the hopeless side or depressing your aspiration side.

But it was still a good book anyway, so I want to invite you to your ultimate life.

I want to reassure you and remind you you have control of your life.

You have absolute control of your experience every day.

It can be exciting or it can be yucky.

That's your choice.

And if you want to have more of something, you have to devote your attention and dedication to it.

I call it your tal beam.

It's a beam that comes out of your face.

Stands for your time, attention and love.

Time is obvious the amount of seconds or minutes I devote to something.

The attention is, am I really there?

You know, so someone's look scrolling their phone while they're talking to you.

Well, you don't have their attention, even if you have sort of their time.

The third one, L, is love, which I use to represent intensity.

I might be fully attentive, meaning not doing anything else to a conversation.

I'm pretending I'm looking at someone instead of at you.

I might be fully attentive to a conversation, meaning I'm here and I'm not doing anything else.

I can add to that the intensity of my feeling, the intention to love you, the intention to listen carefully so I can see what service and growth and opportunity is possible.

So your time, attention and love is all that each of us have, and wherever we shine, that it grows.

If you decide you want to create a life of purpose, prosperity and joy, including cash.

And I always add that adder because the most frequent thing I get asked about is how Do I make more money?

And it's always asked with that intensity of desperation.

Money is easy to make.

If you want to know how, get a hold of me.

Let's talk.

Money is not hard.

There's an infinite amount and it's laying around for me or you to pick up.

Now you think I'm crazy and you are arguing with me.

It's laying around for you to pick up.

The issue, problem, struggle, challenge, catch, if you will, is most folks aren't real willing to do what it takes to pick it up, to get it, to have it, or to keep it.

Everybody wants everything to be easy.

No thought, no effort.

And that doesn't work.

Trees don't grow that way.

Nothing of worth grows that way.

So if you want to get cash, all you have to do is be willing to create value and do the things that are necessary to create cash.

You can have all you want.

End of story.

If you want to talk about that, please do.

Because helping people, you get to your ultimate life purpose, prosperity and joy.

That's all I do.

And this outreach and podcast is just one way.

And pretty soon you'll have this fellow as a guest and he'll tell you about how he's finding cash, adding good to the world, following his passion and his heart.

Today is the eighth of eight episodes about how fear manifests in our lives and gets in the way of growing, gets in the way of creating purpose, prosperity and joy, or whatever your words are that represent that power, that joy, that fun for you.

Now, remember the eight things the last time I used this list.

Fear of setting goals.

Fear of failure.

Fear of appearing arrogant.

Fear of asking for help.

Fear of saying no.

That's boundaries and stuff.

Fear of being scrutinized and judged.

Fear of knowing your worth.

That was last time and today is the eighth one, and it's fear of taking a break.

Fear of taking a break.

There's all kinds of pieces to this, and that's why I named this episode I'll Sleep When I'm Dead Now.

I used to hear that a lot when I was younger.

I've even said it, you know, it doesn't matter.

I don't need to sleep.

I don't need to sleep because we had the idea that cramming life full of just more stuff, more experiences, more things to do, more, more, more, more.

That was the answer.

And we've all gone through that stage and maybe you're still in it, I don't know.

But here's a promise I can make you.

It's not the answer.

More, more, more.

Even if it's more, more, more.

Money is not the answer.

In fact, too much is poison unless you're really clear about your purpose and you know exactly what you're doing with it.

And that purpose involves adding good to the world, philanthropy, growth, assisting, blessing, loving, and doing good with it.

Money becomes poison.

Money wants a purpose, and if you don't have a purpose for it and it's a good one, it cankers our souls, and then we end up with too much and stupidity and everything else.

And you see examples like that all over the world.

Okay?

Purpose, prosperity, and joy.

The way to get things done is not just to fill your life with more stuff.

More stuff, more stuff, more stuff.

It is a question of what stuff.

What stuff are you stuffing your life with?

So this I'll sleep when I'm dead or fear of taking a break.

Talk about how that gets in your way.

You know as well as I do there are good days and bad days.

On good days, we can blame external circumstances, but let's just talk about the ones we have control over.

If I don't get enough sleep, I'm not on my game.

I'm just not.

I don't care how much caffeine I consume or other stimulants, I'm not on my game.

So I got to rest.

If I want to have powerful, if I want to have powerful impact, if I want to make a difference, I got to have rest.

My body's got to be in the sack certain number of hours.

And some people say, well, I only need this or that.

Okay, whatever.

I'm not going to argue that.

But it has to be fully rested.

Because during sleep, the physical, the spiritual, the mind and all that stuff rejuvenates.

So if you deprive yourself of sleep, that gets in the way of creating your ultimate life physically.

And you know what else?

It gets in the way mentally.

Because if you're dragging, you know that I feel that too.

If I don't get good sleep, it isn't just about being physically tired.

I'm just not sharp.

I'm like, you know, this is what do I need to do?

Did I not eat?

You know, and then I look up my Fitbit and I look at my phone and say, wow, it shows.

I only got XYZ sleep.

That's what I need to do.

So you know what I do?

Hey, I go take a nap.

Fill in the gap, Plug it in.

Why?

Because I want to be sharp.

I'd rather work one hour sharp than three Hours half baked.

I get more done and it's more fun, more impactful.

Okay, so sleep affects you physically, it affects you energetically, and it affects your time, attention and love beam.

Right?

Okay, so that's one reason I'll sleep when I'm dead is a bad idea.

And not taking breaks gets in the way of your ultimate life.

Another thing that's demonstrated over and over again by studies is that if we don't take regular breaks during the day, we get, you know, the effectiveness goes down.

Now people use the Pomodoro technique.

50 minutes of work, 10 minutes break.

I had a client who said, no, no, 50's too long.

I gotta have 25.

5.

Fine.

Find your rhythm.

The point is times of concentration followed by times of rejuvenation is the most effective way to work.

Times of rejuvenation.

I found at least I'm going to share with you a hack.

I find that if I work like I'm going to record this podcast, then I'm going to get up and walk around.

I need to move the physical body.

I need to stretch some things.

I need to think about something completely different.

Maybe I'll go.

I'm recording this during the aftermath of one of the hurricanes in Florida, so maybe I'll go look and see what the latest report is on that or something to distract.

Or I'll go up in Joy's office and be with her for a minute.

So I'll take 10 minutes and relax the mind from this focus and concentration so that I can come back and be all in.

Okay, so that is another way that not taking breaks or I'll sleep when I'm dead gets in the way of your growth and prosperity.

Another thing that comes and has certainly been an issue for me.

Not anymore, but it was.

And that's the idea that I owe.

Owing, and the owing is a lot of things.

So when I set, you know, big hairy goals and I think I gotta get this done, it doesn't matter what it is.

Back when I was an executive, it was one set of things.

Since I'd become an author and a coach and a filmmaker and a musician, meaning putting out published music and stuff.

In the last 17 years, I did the same thing to myself the first years.

I got to get this done.

I owe this.

I owe this.

I got to get this much written.

I got to get this much done.

On the song Gotta, Gotta, Gotta.

And so you live under the constant deadline.

I call it the eight ball feeling, you know, behind the eight ball.

And you know what it Was all invented.

As soon as I changed my mindset, my structure, the feeling went away and I didn't starve and everything was fine.

And the business grew and it was all wonderful and it became more fun and more effective.

So hear it.

More fun and more effective.

So taking off the owing.

Oh, I gotta get this done.

That comes from the idea of just hurry up.

More, more, more, more.

I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Fear of taking a break.

Instead, plan what you can actually get done with breaks during the day.

Do each thing with full intention and power.

If there are things that interrupt you and you get derailed, so what?

So what?

Let them go.

Let them go.

It's not important.

I used to get derailed, so derailed when stuff happened and I had to have a break.

Oh, no.

I had to, you know, my schedule got messed up.

Messed me up for the day and sometimes for the week.

Not anymore.

That all comes from the idea that taking a break is somehow weakness.

That whole thought process is not true.

Another owing that I have a client, more than one client, sort of had the idea that if I'm not grinding every moment I'm awake, it has to be grindy.

That was the word this client would use.

Grindy.

It has to be grindy or it's not effective.

Not true.

You're more effective when you're having fun and you're creative.

That's science.

That's not Kellen making stuff up.

When you're having fun and you're more creative, you're smarter.

You see connections more easily.

You're more creative and you more effective in terms of the final product.

Another version of that owing.

Owing.

Owing thing was another client I had that said to me.

Well, I felt like I had to work hard to earn my right to be here.

I have to earn my right to take up space in the world, to eat, to breathe.

I owe.

Oh, oh.

And why the one client felt like everything had to be grindy in order to be effective.

Or the other client said, I have to work hard.

I owe that hard work in order to be worthy of breathing.

And there's a hundred other ways that you might have felt that same thing.

Why you got there doesn't matter.

It might be upbringing.

It might be some experiences in your life.

It might be your family tradition.

It might be religion.

It might be whatever.

It's not true.

Bogus garbage.

Fail.

False.

You and I are built to enjoy life.

We're built to love and serve each other.

You've heard me say that a thousand times.

We're built to have times of hard work.

And you know, like right now, if you think about the hurricanes that have gone through the southeast part of the United States, there's just devastation everywhere.

And so there is a period of grindy, there is a period of hard work, there is a period of privation and struggle.

And yet even in that privation and struggle, I'll sleep when I'm dead is not the answer.

It is work hard, do it in love, do it the best you can, and have fun.

Even in the process of repair.

If you're going through the process of repair and I've been there and I've not been through a hurricane, but I've been through some personal and financial ruin.

And I could be on a hating journey or a negative journey afterwards, or I can just be on a journey and choose to enjoy it.

And that makes all the difference.

So the idea that I'll miss out on life, I'll sleep when I'm dead, is wrong.

It makes you enjoy things less, makes you less creative, and it actually makes us stupid.

If we don't get enough sleep and rest, we're ineffective, we're not creative.

And that's a fact.

If we work from the idea that we somehow have to get a certain amount amount done, or we haven't filled our quota of productivity, or we things have to be grindy or hard in order to be productive or fun, or that we owe somehow earning to earn our breath, or any version of that, all those are false, they're common.

And they get in the way of you creating a life of purpose, prosperity and joy.

Because they all go to the idea, listen to this.

They all go to the idea that when I get a certain amount of stuff done, certain amount accomplished, certain amount of money or whatever, then I'll be happy, then I'll be able to enjoy my life.

Then I can relax that day.

Never comes the enough done, never comes the I'm over the last finish line never comes.

If you live a life that is, I'll be happy when you're dead already because you're living your whole life in an unhappy push for a goal you cannot achieve.

What happens when money is the pursuit is you get a bunch and then you want more and you still don't feel done.

When position is the pursuit, you get the position, then you realize there's more and you're not happy.

When you get the mate you want in a relationship, you realize that there's a whole lot of work to continue to create a relationship that works the I'll be happy when idea is fallacy and it is a failure.

So remember, this is how does fear.

So another thing that get in the way in the expression of I'll sleep when I'm dead or it's not okay to take a break.

Another expression of this is the popular acronym fomo.

Fear of Missing Out.

FOMO is poison.

You're already missing out, so get over it.

Right this minute I'm recording this podcast.

I could be doing reasonably seven or eight other things in my house, in one of my studios, or upstairs, yeah, 50 if I count everywhere I could go and all that stuff.

But even right now, here, I could be doing seven or eight other things and I'm missing out on all those other things.

And you know what?

I decided two things.

This is where I want to put my time, attention and love right now.

And I'm going to be all in.

Not think about, not wonder or worry about any other thing.

This is it.

You have my 100% undivided, full attention.

All of these things proving you got to earn your breath.

Fear of missing out.

Got to have every experience possible.

Things have to be hard in order to be effective.

Effective.

And everything else I've said comes from one place.

It comes from not loving ourselves enough.

I want you to let that sink in.

If you or I look in the mirror and you truly love oh, that person, you see, you don't think any of those things.

None of that poison energy comes.

And if you can't do that for yourself right this minute, think about when you have been in love with a person.

Just today, I'll share another personal experience because I can't ask you about yours.

I was feeling very mushy and tender towards my angel wife, Joy.

Now, that happens all the time.

But it was particular today.

And so I looked at her and as gently and best I could, I told her I loved her.

And in that moment, everything about her, what she was doing, what she was thinking, what she had done, all of it was perfect.

Everything that I had done or not done before that moment was perfect.

There was not one thought of I should have done this, you should have done that.

I haven't done enough.

I got to hurry up.

Grind, grind, grind.

I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Fear of taking a break, none of that was present.

Isn't that interesting that in the purity of love, none of that exists?

I'll tell you another place it doesn't exist in the purity of service.

When you're truly dedicated, I'll give you another Example, Joy and I, many years have gone during holidays or other times to soup kitchens to prepare food, to work all day once and got in the kitchen and did all the preparation, and somebody was supervising because I'm not, you know, but told me, do this, do this, peel all these potatoes, cut all these onions, do this, do this, do that.

And, you know, during that entire many hours, there was not one thought of I should be doing something else or what am I missing out on or anything.

None of it.

When you or I are in the pure joy of service, we don't have missing out.

We don't think.

I can't take a break.

We're caught up.

Service and kindness is its own reward.

It fills us up.

And since this is about creating your ultimate life, I want you to think about this.

How many times have you been asked to participate in a community or church or other kind of service project?

I don't have time.

Oh, Flip.

I don't have time.

I don't have time to go to school and read today.

I got stuff I got to do.

I got to do another podcast for you and talk about service.

Wait a minute.

That's all whack.

What if I go do that?

I'm looking forward to.

I'm excited about.

I know it's going to be fun and my attention is going to be fully there.

And am I going to miss out?

Yeah, I'm going to miss out on another episode I could have recorded or some music in the studio or some video or blabbity blabbity blah.

And you know what?

I don't care.

Service is its own reward.

And whatever you miss out doing, it can wait.

Love is its own reward and displaces all these thoughts.

So the conclusion here is fear of taking a break is backwards, upside down and wrong.

Take the breaks.

Rest your heart, rest your body, rest your soul.

Choose to love, choose to serve, choose to shine your time, attention and love beam generously on your fellow beings.

It's part of your ultimate life.

Now, I have my three invitations.

Please don't turn me off yet.

1.

If you're living your ultimate life, please get ahold of me.

I want to talk to you.

I want to get to know as many people as I can that are living that life of purpose, prosperity, and joy.

Because I love knowing them.

I love counting them among acquaintances, friends, and so forth.

And who knows, oftentimes there's things we can do together.

The second thing is if you.

If you want to share your journey, your discovery, your story, what happened to you because none of us start there.

We start with hardship, false goals, failure.

You know, my story, you know, addictions and a whole pile of stuff.

We start in those places and then we make the personal internal changes until we realize the ultimate life is created from love.

It's created from service.

It's created from sharing and lifting and blessing others.

And yeah, that includes creating cash.

Cash is just our trade mechanism.

So if you want to share that, I'd like to talk to you because I want people to share their stories.

I love being a megaphone for you to share your experience because who knows who you can serve and help.

I can't wait to get to know you.

I love hearing those stories and sharing them.

Third, I'm asking for you to share this.

If this message of encouragement and love encourages you, makes you excited, makes you recommit, makes you say I can do better, great.

Share it with somebody else.

If you want to know more about other things that I'm up to, the URL on the screen kellenflukegermedia.com Kellenfluekigermedia.com Go there.

Tell you everything that I'm up to and also how to get a hold of me and all kinds of opportunities that might be there for you no matter what.

Remember, you're in charge.

Eliminate fear in all of its now eight different manifestations we've talked about and there are many, many more.

I love you.

I'm grateful for everything you're doing to add good to the world.

Keep moving on and create your ultimate life.

Never hold back and you'll never ask why.

Open your heart.

And this time around, right here, right now, your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.

Every episode gives you practical tips and practices that will change everything.

If you want to know more, go to kellenflukegermedia.com if you want more FREE tools, go here.

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