Integrity Check: What’s Your Word Really Worth?

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Welcome to your ultimate life.

Today's episode or conversation is titled what is your word worth?

Like, like what is your word worth?

And that seems like an easy question.

And I use this picture on purpose.

Hope you're watching the video of some guy in a, you know, suit of armor looking at a castle, and he's got a, I don't know, some kind of a spear or flagpole or something.

But the, the symbolism there is, you know, he's going after something, he's got a mission, a job to do, and he looks pretty serious about doing it.

And so our word, there's two kinds of words.

There's our internal words and our external words.

And like many facades, often we do.

We use our external words inauthentically.

And inauthentically is a buzzword, means we lie like crap sometimes, or you might have that habit.

I used to do that and I used to use my words externally to create what I thought I wanted.

In other words, to get people to believe things or do things or manipulate them, not in harmful ways for them, at least I didn't think so.

But to get what I wanted to create the circumstance and the outcomes of things that I wanted.

So that's one way to use your words.

Words have power.

Words are strong.

Words can be convincing.

Someone said the pen is mightier than the sword.

And that thought is saying, you know, the written words have caused more action, more change, more power than any number of armies or swords or even atomic weapons.

And, you know, you could, you could argue with that.

But let's think about it for a minute.

The doctrine of, you know, Christianity.

One dude lived 2,000 years ago in some obscure village, and now it's all over the world.

Others, Buddha and Muhammad and other individuals who lived in similar obscurity are now world known, well known people far greater known than, you know, tyrants of today who are dictators of different countries.

And the words are the things that are powerful.

The I Ching, for example, written who knows how long ago, thousands of years, describing the book of changes and how things are related and so forth.

So words have power, and it's easy to think about that in the abstract.

Okay, yeah, word, somewhere, some cool book, whatever, they have power.

But I want to get it right down to you because this whole show is about Creating your ultimate life.

And the guest I had on just last, Steve, was talking about, you know, being your word, creating life according to what you speak.

Now, most of us, you know, it seems like a good idea, but we don't do that.

We don't actually create life according to our words.

We say whatever we need to say to get by or what makes sense in the moment.

And then as the moments roll on, we do whatever makes sense, whether or not it corresponds to the words we just said.

And that's a travesty.

That's ridiculous, it's harmful, it's torturous, it's terrible, and for several reasons.

And you might disagree with me and you can rage all you want, that's fine.

But here's what I know.

When you are true to your word, every word that comes out of your mouth, the world changes.

When people around you know through experience that every word you speak happens, that you say only what you mean and that you do what you say, then everyone knows that about you and you have a certain aura, a certain power that what you say is true.

You may not care about having that, but I can tell you that having that changes how people react to you, changes how they talk to you.

It changes how they think about you.

It also changes what they buy from you if you're in business.

So if you have a store, simple example, my wife, my angel that I married to Joy, she had an ebay store for a long time, 20 years.

We haven't done a lot in the last few, but we had one for 20 years and she had it for many years before I, before we were together and We've been together 17 and a half years now.

So she and ebay awards you, you know, stars and status and top rated status and then gold top rated seller and then ebay university, blah blah, blah, you know, just different ways of recognizing what sellers who are their word.

In other words, satisfied customers deliver what's promised, ship on time, handle returns effectively and fairly.

All those things earned you brownie points and they were recognized in the form of awards so that people would trust them.

You know, the top rated gold platinum seller badge meant people bought with more confidence and bought things from her when they could have gotten the same thing from someone else for less money but didn't have those badges of honor.

So that's an interesting thing and it's a small example, but you see that in all businesses.

Trust advisor, Better Business Bureau ratings, you know, five star ratings and Yelp and all that sort of thing is an attempt to Substitute for the words they provide the place for us to put words about our experience, about a restaurant or hotel or a service of any kind.

And maybe you don't look at them, but a lot of people look at those reviews.

They look people up online and stuff to see what the word is about them.

So those reputation points, they matter.

They matter so much.

There are people that make businesses out of fixing your reputation, reputation repair, reputation defender, you know, that sort of thing.

So that gives you one tiny sense of how important that is.

And that isn't even the most important because that has almost always, not always, but almost always to do with commerce, money, trust.

Now doctors get raided and shrinks and so forth, but they're selling you their services for money.

And we do that exchange with money.

So here's the thing I want to say.

Your word matters.

And it matters a hundred times more perhaps than you might think it does.

Now there's two kinds of this.

There's our internal word and our external word.

And all that other stuff about testimonials and stars and ratings and reviews and so forth, that all has to do almost exclusively with external interactions.

But here's the secret.

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.

So some people, and I know this because of the retail business we're in for a long time, they'll do anything just to get their five star review.

And it isn't because that's who they are, meaning they're actually committed to that kind of service.

They'll bribe or threaten or do whatever makes sense to get the five star review.

So it can appear as if they were in integrity.

Now that might last for a while and someone might get away with it and eventually it crashes.

But even if it doesn't crash, that's not being in integrity.

Now if you're listening to this and you think good for them, they get away with it.

And I wish I could too.

And this message isn't really for you because I'm speaking to those who truly, truly want to be in integrity, who want your word to be absolutely impeccable.

You know, one of the four agreements in the book, the four agreements is, you know, be impeccable with your word.

Well, impeccable, that's a powerful word.

True, good, faithful.

Impeccable is a, it's not used a lot.

And it, it connotes a very high, high level impeccable without blemish, without fault, without any chink in the armor.

So why does this matter?

Well, it matters for a lot of reasons.

Your internal Words, the words that you say to yourself determine how much you accomplish in this life.

If you lie to yourself regularly about what you're going to do, I'm going to get up early, I'm going to work out more, I'm going to this, that, and you don't, and you don't, you don't.

Then all you do is create a situation where you don't believe yourself and you don't trust yourself.

And therefore you attempt less, you accomplish less, and you settle for mediocrity.

Now, you can think of some examples if you want to to argue with me.

But that is by far, by wildly far the truth.

So here's what I've discovered.

And I discovered all this the hard way because I've tried all the shortcuts and cheat codes and side roads and everything else.

And the truth is, if you want to have the kind of power that comes with someone who speaks only truth, then there is no choice but to speak only truth.

Be that person.

So let's start with inside, because that's the hardest, but it's the most important.

We've talked before about setting goals and how setting goals relates to keeping your word.

So if you set goals and don't accomplish them, you teach yourself you can't be trusted and you're a liar.

And I'm not talking about those rare instances where some enormous thing, you know, happens that completely prevents you from doing something.

We pretend all the time, oh, something came up when the truth is we made a choice that whatever it is that came up was more important than our word.

When we're talking about our word to ourselves, we make that choice easily and all the time.

I have found that this ultimate life business that I'm talking about is way more easily created, way more powerful, way more joyful, way more fun.

When I keep my word, I speak only truth, and I do what I say.

And I am who I seem.

Those are the words that I have in my own PTAC personal truth document.

If you want to know what that is, you need to read this book called Living with Purpose and Power.

This is a book about how to create your own personal constitution that's more powerful than anything you've ever done before.

I guarantee it.

More powerful than anything you've ever done before.

And it'll change your life.

Living with purpose and power.

But anyway, in my document, one of the things are, I am my word because I've recognized that's true.

When I lie, I create a being that is a liar.

I create a being that Knows they can't be trusted.

I create a being that hopes people don't find out about the little things or the big things that I've done or said or missaid.

Rather.

Rather I have decided after long, terrible experience, otherwise, I am my word.

I realize that I create myself with my words.

Now, we're still talking about internal words right now because they're the most important.

What that means is I am ridiculously careful, thoughtful, and intentional about words that I speak.

Every word that I say.

The words, even now, when I say that being true to your word is the most important thing you can be, that's is.

And you can argue with it, but that's the truth.

This above all, to thine own self be true.

And then it follows as surely as the night follows the day.

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Now, that's a paraphrase, not an exact quote of a thing.

Clear back in Shakespeare's time, Shakespeare said it to somebody, one of his characters.

Being true to your word, it makes you know you can be trusted internally.

There's nothing to hide.

You can live in a completely transparent mode.

You say what you mean, you do what you say, and you are who you seem.

So those are my guidance, and I reaffirm that every single day.

In fact, more than once a day.

I am my word.

I speak only truth.

I do what I say.

I am who I seem with simplicity, transparency, and integrity.

Okay, that's a choice that I've made.

Now, in our society, we have a different measure.

When someone says they'll do something, the unspoken text is, if I still feel like it, if I remember, if I don't get a better offer, and if you don't piss me off between now and then, and if any one of those happens or something like it, well, you know, and we're.

We just have trained ourselves to just accept that and realize, oh, yeah, well, of course.

And we expect that of each other.

And I think that's horrifying because that means you never actually know when you can trust something or someone or not.

I've made a choice not to do that, not to be that way, to be my word, first and foremost to myself, so that every word I say I can trust to me.

I say I'm going to get up at a certain time.

I say I'm going to exercise.

I say I'm going to create a podcast episode.

I say I'm going to coach someone.

I say I'm going to meet someone.

Someone.

I'm there and I'm on time now.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do.

What I'm sharing with you is what has changed in my life.

I'm happier.

I trust me 100%.

I bet on me.

I trust me because I know how I've created myself and how I am daily creating myself.

To be my word, to be integrity, to live in that place where I am completely trustworthy.

I don't care who sees or whatever.

It does make me really careful.

So I challenge you right now at this part to think about this.

This is your first sort of challenge.

How are you behaving with your word?

Are you careful with what you say?

Do you speak things that you know are not true?

I'm not talking about when we make mistake.

We say something we thought was true and we find out it isn't.

How we act about that is another piece of integrity.

You know, if we try to hide it or ignore it or hopes nobody notices, or if we immediately fess up, clean it up and recommit, that's a choice.

So the next thing I want to talk about as you examine your own truth, your own relationship to your words, is how you feel about yourself.

Because if you speak negatively, we just talked about making promises to yourself you don't keep and how that destroys your power, destroys your self esteem, your self worth.

It just trashes all that.

Having lived there, I can tell you that's no fun.

And it certainly doesn't create purpose, prosperity and joy.

And having walked what for me at least was the thorny road to get from that place to a place of absolute integrity where I do what I say, I am who I seem, and I with no hiding, no secrecy, no camouflage, you know, with simplicity, transparency and integrity, I am way more at peace.

I have way more power.

I trust me more.

And life is joyful, like there is nothing to hide.

And you know, when I lived in a place of duplicity and camouflage, I was constantly worried that someone was going to find out one of the small or big things that I had said that wasn't right or was completely wrong.

Imagine for a moment if you live under any of that burden, all of it completely gone.

So there's nothing to hide, no skeletons, no worry, nothing.

Your closet is empty.

There is very little that can liberate you like that.

So I want you to think about your relationship to your word because this shows about how to create purpose, prosperity and joy.

You can't live joyfully if you're a liar or if you fool people or if you deceive or if you are hiding, you can't.

Joy and deceit can't occupy the same place.

Camouflage in integrity can't operate in the same place any more than love and fear can be in the same place.

Now the next thing I want to talk about is we get to choose our level of integrity.

Most of us choose it accidentally, or at least that's what it seems like to me.

I sure, I sure did.

I chose it at a matter of convenience.

I decided that if someone knew this or that, I would get in trouble or it wouldn't go well.

And so I would invent, you know, with, with language whatever I wanted because I thought it would be better.

And even if I got the outcome I wanted by manipulating someone's idea or thought or feeling, it was misery.

It was misery.

Not just because you have to remember your lies, because you do.

Mark Twain said, tell the truth, there's less to remember.

At least that's who I think was credited with that.

And I love it.

You don't have to remember anything when you tell the truth.

The misery was because I hated myself.

I hated myself.

I remember sitting one day and thinking, do you ever like really tell the truth or do you always think about it first and decide what to say and what not to say and what to hide and live in this sort of camouflage?

And I can tell you that is depressing.

It is completely deflating and it robs you of your power to create.

So if you want to live in purpose, with a purpose, prosperity and joy, learning to tell the absolute truth internally to yourself and to everybody else is absolutely.

It's non negotiable.

It is non negotiable.

Now I am not saying you have to tell everybody every secret that you have.

It's perfectly fine to say, I'm not going to talk about that.

And people can interpret whatever they want from that.

That's not your problem.

That's private.

I'm not going to discuss that.

That's off limits.

It's not for discussion.

And if their experience with you is that when you speak everything is true and you tell the truth and you're transparent, if you simply say that's not for conversation, not going to talk about that.

They may invent whatever what they want to about why you said that, but they're going to know that you are telling the truth because you always do, right?

You always do.

And that's their experience with you.

So you get to choose your level of integrity and it also chooses your level of peace, your level of satisfaction.

It chooses how well you sleep, it chooses how much success you have in business.

Now, you know and I know people that have lied and cheated and got all kinds of success and made all kinds of money.

And we also know many that are miserable, that have failed relationships over and over again, that have drinking problems and drug problems and suicide and all kinds of skullduggery.

The world's full of that.

But that's not what we're here for.

This show is about how to create the ultimate life, which has very little to do with money and possessions.

It has more to do with the focus of your life, if your life is focused, and this is my experience on adding good to the world, finding and serving with your divine gifts and purpose, digging into the difficult experiences you've had, and then figuring out how to use those adversities in service to others.

There's nothing more joyful than that.

And you don't need to take my word for it.

You know, it's funny.

I've talked to thousands of people since I have become a coach, literally thousands and thousands.

And I would say easily 95% say, man, I love helping people.

I just love doing that.

That feeling comes because that's how we were built.

We were built to love and serve.

We're divine beings with gifts and talents, and we're built to help each other and to love.

That's how we feel the best.

It's how we do the best.

Now there's people that deviate from that and just always say, what's in it for me?

I know some, you know, some.

I used to be that.

Maybe you have been too.

I don't know.

But that road doesn't lead to joy.

It doesn't lead to trust, it doesn't lead to integrity.

And at the end of the day, it doesn't lead to peace internally, it leads to worry, fear, and a host of other emotions that frankly, are corrosive and will make you die sooner.

People that live in fear and in anger and negativity and all that sort of stuff, they have shorter life expectancies by years and in some cases a decade or more because of the corrosive nature of the chemicals.

Produced by lying, produced by stress, produced by hiding, produced by.

Produced by dependent pretending, by negative self image and all the rest of that.

So when you choose your level of integrity, I want you to think about this.

The word integrity, besides meaning I tell the truth, it means, like, structurally, it is internally consistent.

The pillars on which this building are built have structural integrity.

They're strong, they can withstand you know, whatever design element, their earthquake design was or their flood design or wind shear or whatever, they were designed to do that.

So they have structural integrity.

What is the structural integrity of my soul?

What kind of pushback or negative feedback or rejection or ridicule am I designing myself and building myself to take?

Because when you or I show up authentically, to use the buzzword for what we really believe in, we say what we think and we live with that sort of transparent integrity, there's going to be some people that hate my guts or yours, and that's okay.

If you have internal integrity, you know what you believe, you know why you believe it, you are telling the truth, both to yourself and others, then what somebody else thinks of you doesn't even matter.

It really doesn't think about that.

So we're talking about purpose, prosperity and joy.

And one of the things about that is witot w I t o t.

I've talked about that before.

What I think others think.

I call it the witot fungus because that's poison.

If you try to behave or act or people.

Please is one way to say it.

But even if it's way less than a severe case of people pleasing, if you try to fit into some mold because you think that's what you're supposed to do, you're denying yourself of your own authentic being, who you really are.

Now when we look deep inside and we're quiet, we know the truth, that we are created by God.

Whatever.

You conceive that God to be the universe, you know that.

You also know that you have gifts and talents.

You also either know or yearn to have a focus and a purpose.

People say that all the time.

I don't know what my purpose is.

I need one.

Especially if we talk about it.

And they ask me what I'm doing and I say, this year, that's my 300 million.

To reach you with the message of your divinity, your capability and your possibility, and then help you do something with it.

So you live that ultimate life of purpose, prosperity and joy.

When I say that to people, they're like, oh, I wish I had that.

And you know what the answer is?

You can have is not exclusive.

It doesn't belong to a select few.

You can have a chosen, driving purpose.

Now, one of the things I love to do is work with people to get to that.

If you don't know what your own life purpose is, let's talk.

Because it changes over time.

But I know you can have one right now.

What's most important to you now how you choose to add good to the world.

But I can tell you we can't find it unless we're trying at least to live with that integrity.

To have your word worth infinity.

So the title today was what's your word worth?

We talked about societal expectations and the proliferation of half truths and total lies and shading and hiding and all the rest and how that creates misery.

If you want joy, tell the truth.

If you want happiness, tell the truth.

If you want to make money, tell the truth.

I'm not saying you can't make money being a crook, but it won't last.

And it'll burn you up inside.

And you know it, and I know it.

So in other words, for that internal consistency, like a building that has integrity, it's trusted.

We trust the manufacturer of those pylons because they always stand firm.

They have a track record.

What is my track record?

What is your track record?

Telling the truth to ourselves about that is critical beyond words.

Because another thing that destroys what our word is worth is fooling ourselves, pretending.

Pretending we either can't fix it.

I don't know.

I just can't do that.

That's nonsense.

You can have anything you want and you can do anything you want.

You may need to get a lot of help.

You may need to change some habits.

There may be a boatload of things you need to stop doing or start doing, Especially that internal dialogue if there's a lot of negativity.

One of the things I've discovered is the most fun and most powerful for people to do is to think about, organize, and tell their story.

That's why I've got this book challenge.

Dream build, write it dot com, go there.

Your life is story worthy.

It's movie worthy if you're a person who says, I love to help others.

If you say that or you feel it, the best place to start is to look at your life and write a book.

Write a book, okay?

And I say that boldly and clearly.

Not just because I'm holding this challenge to help you do it, but because over and over again, when I have people that come and say, I love helping, I want to do this, I ask them how they help and what they do, and they tell me all the stuff and I ask them about their life and how they got there, it becomes really clear.

Two things.

One, what they have experienced and overcome is worth a book.

And number two, the process of organizing that is the most effective and powerful way to get your story organized, whether you want to speak, create workshops or anything else.

So that's just a thing.

So if you have a story about your life that you want to tell dreambuildriteit.com in closing, I want to tell you this.

Who you choose to be in your integrity is one of the most, if not the most important decision you're ever going to make.

What kind of integrity are you internally consistent?

Are you strong?

Are you focused?

Are you transparent?

Do you hide?

Or are you open?

Do you do what you say?

Do you.

Are you who you seem to be?

Or do you pretend one thing and hope nobody finds out what's behind the curtain?

If you want to live in purpose, prosperity and joy, if you want to make money and make a positive impact in the world, start with your word.

Start with creating a you where every word you speak is truth.

Where you do what you say and you are where you seem and we're not perfect.

And so whenever we fail or something intervenes, then the way of integrity is to fess up, clean it up and recommit, not hide.

I can promise you, if this isn't something you're doing already on purpose, it will make a radical change in your life for the better.

Your life will be more fun and joy will be pouring out of your ears like you can't imagine.

You'll have more fun.

You'll be able to make more money and a bigger impact and create that life of purpose, prosperity and joy.

You know what I mean?

Your ultimate life.

Never hold back and you'll never ask why.

Open your heart and visit this time around.

Right here, right now.

Your opportunity for massive growth is right in front of you.

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